Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Friday, May 05, 2006

Validation Education

The Players: BA and Husband

The Stage: Our living room, Thursday night, in the viewing waste land that is the time slot preceding E.R. during which we catch up on all our other weekly favorites.

The Scene: BA and Husband discuss the issue of validating one another's petty annoyances. Let's watch...


BA: Dammit Allison! You know Manny is going to call you in the middle of the night! Just move the goddamned phone already!!!

Husband (bewildered): Why does that bother you so much?

BA: Because it's stupid. Nobody would let their wife climb over them night after night to answer the phone. They would move it to her side of the bed.

Husband: It's a television show.

BA: Yes, I know, and it's supposed to be REALISTIC. That is not realistic. It pisses me off the way it pisses you off when they get technology stuff wrong.

Husband: Okay. Whatever, but I don't let it ruin the show for me.

BA: It's not ruining the show for me.

Husband: Well obviously it's bothering you.

BA: It's not BOTHERING me. It annoys me, that's all.

Husband: Whatever you say, hon.

Moments later, Husband attempts to execute a command to the DVR program, whereupon the parental control password prompt is activated for no apparent reason. Husband enters password, but not fast enough for the 4 second timer. It scolds husband for entering the wrong password. Husband, muttering to himself, re-enters password. When at last the password is accepted, the recording has been interrupted, and we are shown the program currently being aired instead.

Husband (strenuously pushing buttons): GODAMMIT! This is THE worst program ever. What kind of moron wrote this?? Haven't they ever heard of beta testing? Idiots.

BA: I know. Its unbelievable.

Husband (shooting wife a look): I'm serious! This program is not user friendly at all, and it is riddled with bugs.

BA: I know! I'm agreeing with you. It's maddening.

Husband: Don't patronize me.

BA: I'm not patronizing you. I'm validating you.

Husband: Why?

BA: Because that's what you do when someone expresses annoyance. I thought you might like a demonstration since you failed to live up to your contractual obligation to validate me. It's in the wedding vows. I could divorce you right now.

Husband: Shut up.

BA: I'm just saying.

There is a brief pause while husband re-starts the recording. We watch in silence for a few moments.

Husband: That is pretty stupid about the phone though.

BA: You're not getting sex tonight.

Husband: But...I validated you.

BA: Too little too late dude.

Husband: Damn. Story of my life.

BA and husband grin at one another. Husband hands BA the popcorn. BA feeds husband a piece. The curtain falls.


(Apologies to Lucinda for ripping off her format.)

2 Comments:

  • At 5:50 AM, Blogger sunshine scribe said…

    Funny. Well written and Funny.

    Contractually obligated validation is so grounds for divorce :) he he

    At least he catches on more quickly than most.

    And YES about the phone!

     
  • At 12:21 PM, Blogger Suburban Turmoil said…

    Love and marriage... ;)

     

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