Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Monday, October 09, 2006

A Question for the Ages

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Throughout the ages, Man has struggled to solve the mysteries that define and validate his existence. The search has led mankind on a long, arduous journey that has taken him from the deepest darkest jungles on earth, to the cold, dead landscape of the Moon.

On this quest for meaning, there have arisen some profound questions of universal significance, the answers to which have been and are still being pondered by some of the greatest minds in history. Some have been answered. Some still plague us with their dogmatic complexity. Some still woo us with the promise of existential clarity.

What is the origin of Man?
Is there a "Higher Power"?
Is there life on other planets?
Are we alone?
Is there life after death?
What IS the meaning of Life?
Why is the sky blue?
Is the world flat?
Is the Moon made of cheese?
Where does the soul go when the body dies?
Is there a literal heaven and hell?
Does Satan exist?
Will good triumph over evil?
Does life begin at conception?
Do we possess a sixth sense?
Can the dead inhabit the earth?
Can we communicate with them?

For those questions that can never be answered with any kind of certainty we have invented Faith. We have contructed entire belief systems around the fact that some questions have no answers. Because Man, in his obduracy and egotism, cannot believe that such truths are beyond his reach. And so he chooses to believe that someday, all will be clear to him if only he believes in something he cannot see, or touch, or hear. It gives people hope.

There is one question in particular, that has caused me great personal torment. There is burning need in me to understand and the lack of elucidation has kept me up nights pondering. I can't help but feel that an answer to this question will lay to rest the nagging uncertainty and confusion that plagues me.

What I need to know, is....





WHY WON'T MY SON WIPE HIS ASS?!?!?!?!?!?!?

8 Comments:

  • At 9:20 AM, Blogger jchevais said…

    OMG! Good thing I didn't have any coffee in my mouth! I burst out laughing!

     
  • At 10:58 AM, Anonymous Momish said…

    You are a riot! I wish I had an answer for you. Have you consulted the Oracle?

     
  • At 11:30 AM, Blogger Mamma said…

    Unfortunately, even in death this answer will never be clear.

     
  • At 12:27 PM, Blogger Oh, The Joys said…

    Because he is the future CEO of SC Johnson Brands (maker of Shout the stain remover) and he wants to drive sales already.

     
  • At 1:11 PM, Blogger Mrs. Chicky said…

    Uh, because he can but he doesn't feel like it. Jeez.

    (much, much eye rolling)

     
  • At 1:15 PM, Blogger Karyn said…

    Because, ew, who would EVER want to do something as gross as THAT?

    (This is also the same reason my son won't crap on the toilet.)

     
  • At 2:45 PM, Blogger sunshine scribe said…

    Your's too?!!?

     
  • At 9:21 PM, Blogger Blog Antagonist said…

    LOL! Yes, but mine is 8.

     

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