Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Monday, November 20, 2006

The Agony of A Broken Hip

Only a few years seperate me from 40, and one of the ways I quell my anxiety about that, is to mentally catalogue all the ways in which I am still hip. I tell myself that I have not fallen prey to Mom syndrome. Why is it important for we women to feel this way? I think that not giving up our style is representative of not giving up ourselves. It's a means of establishing and maintaining an identity apart from Motherhood.

So I treasure this list and consult it regularly.

EXHIBIT A:




  • I do not wear Mom jeans. (See Exhibit A)

  • I have an iPod, and I know how to use it.

  • I have a blog and I know how to use it.

  • I have a laptop and I know how to use it.

  • I listen to current music and I even like some of it.

  • I resist the urge to ponytail and clip my hair just because it's faster.

  • I am not afraid to experiment with hair color.

  • I'm considering a hybrid.

  • I know what my core muscle group is.

  • I am up to date on current film and literary trends. I know who Borat is, for instance, though why behaving like a complete asshat is entertaining escapes me.

  • I eschew sweatpants.

  • When I heard PPO and his friends discussing Wii, I knew they were talking about the new Nintendo game system and not referring to themselves as a group.



This list varies from day to day, depending upon what's relevant in my life. But it's always there, always running. It's my internal security blanket. And most of the time, it does a pretty good job of deluding convincing me that I'm still me, and I'm still cool.

But every once in a while, something comes along to pull the metaphorical rug from beneath my feet. Ergo, something that demonstrates with embarassing clarity, that I am, in fact, a fossil.

Sometimes, its hearing something terse and autocratic such as "Because I said so!" issuing from my mouth in my Mother's voice.

Sometimes, its realizing that I've worn the same pajama bottoms and oversized team jersey every day this week to take Pre-Pubescent One to Intramurals...and not caring.

Sometimes, it's sitting home on Saturday night in my housecoat with a mudpack on my face and cotton balls between my toes, sipping wine and watching sappy movies with husband...and realizing, I'd rather be doing that than dancing the night away.

And sometimes, its my complete and utter mystification at things such as that in Exhibit B.

EXHIBIT B:



Don't get me wrong. I love this woman. I admire her individuality even if I don't always appreciate her sense of style. I like that she's a stong, confident career woman in charge of her own destiny. I like that she's making time to be a Mom, but not surrendering her identity. She has not enlarged her boobs or starved herself so I think she's a fairly acceptable role model, which is good since she's a pop culture icon.

But the artistry eludes me.

In fact, that is quite possibly the stupidest song I've ever heard. And I think she is selling herself way short by singing this crap.

There I go...channelling my Mother again. I swear to God she said the very same thing about Madonna when I was in high school.

I think I have some Mom jeans in the back of my closet somewhere. Perhaps they fit better than I thought they might. And really...I guess that's okay. Cause they don't make low rise jeans with an elastic waist and frankly, I'm growing weary of having my middle aging ass crack on display. So while I'm not quite ready to stop waxing my upper lip or let my roots grow out, I am starting to be okay with being uncool.

The great thing about approaching 40 is finally understanding that chasing fads has nothing to do with who I am.

And I've realized that I don't want to be young and hip forever. It's too damned exhausting.

Middle Age...here I come.

13 Comments:

  • At 8:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Um, for what it's worth, the WII is the Nintendo system not Sony ; )

     
  • At 9:37 AM, Anonymous Antique Mommy said…

    As someone teetering on the edge of 47, I can tell you that the 4th decade is good. It's has been a sweet time of life for me. Hip is a state of mind. I think it has little to do with fashion or culture. My 88-year-old aunt is the hippest chick I know.

     
  • At 10:49 AM, Anonymous Andrea said…

    Just say no to Mom jeans. That's just one concession of aging that, like the hair clips, says you've given up. I find those below the waist jeans to cover my ample behind as well as keep from rising to my boobs (which are falling to meet my waistband). They aren't the low riders that skinny people can pull off, but they aren't mom jeans.

    I still don't have an iPod, but that's more because of their price tag than an aversity to technology. I plan on buying one with the diaper money once my toddler learns to go on the toilet.

     
  • At 12:01 PM, Anonymous Flybunny said…

    With Hubby being a teacher, he keeps me up on what is hip and I thank him for that. Although I did know why people were waiting in line in front of Best Buy last week and he had to ask me so I felt pretty good!

     
  • At 12:07 PM, Anonymous mothergoosemouse said…

    I love Gwen Stefani. I want to BE Gwen Stefani. Yes, the music she's making lately doesn't do her voice justice, but I can look past that.

    But I sit here typing with my hair in a ponytail, wearing a sweatshirt and - horrors! - maternity sweats. Hey, they're comfortable, and I have to clean the house before I clean up myself. Sheesh.

     
  • At 12:11 PM, Blogger ewe are here said…

    I'm exempting myself from wardrobe attire criticism at the moment - I'm just about 6 months' pg. But....

    No way to Mom jeans. Ick. I am sooo not giving up my low rise jeans in the foreseeable future.

    I try to keep up on current films etc., albeit through DVD much of the time. (Like you, Borat = asshat)

    I'm currently pondering the world of highlights pre-baby... ;-)

     
  • At 2:25 PM, Anonymous Kvetch said…

    I'm knocking on 43. It's really not bad, I promise! I have a problem with the Mom stereotype, but its proliferated in the suburbs. You just have to look around a little and you'll see the still-hip (sort of) contingent. That's where I think I fit in. I also think its absurd to see moms who try to dress too trendy all the time. I think middle ground for middle age is a good thing. Way to go B.A. When we meet I will so make sure I am lookin' like a trend-setter!

     
  • At 2:45 PM, Blogger Melissa said…

    I swear you must be psychic. As I approach the later half of my thirties, I've been having these same feelings you so wrote so well about. I don't know where I stand, I don't wear "mom" jeans, but neither am I on the cutting edge of fashion. I also don't want to totally give up and become my mom. Lately I've been catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and I don't recognize the image staring back at me. Where did those puffy eyes come from, and grey hairs? I've yet to work this all out, but I'm glad that there is evidence that I don't just shrivel up once I get to the big 4-0!

     
  • At 3:52 PM, Blogger Mamma said…

    Okay mom jeans...never okay. But I'm with you on chasing fads. I've decided lately to make my own. I have fantasies of being so cool in my later years that I'm called eccentric. I've decided big chunky bracelets might be my entre.

     
  • At 6:08 PM, Blogger Natalie said…

    I'm not even 30 and although I will never put myself into mom jeans I certainly would rather be sitting at home with my boyfriend watching movies and drinking wine than dancing the night away. I was over that by 22. I fully admit that I am lame though.

     
  • At 10:33 PM, Blogger Mrs. Chicky said…

    I don't understand the draw of that new Gwen Stefani video. I felt really old when watching it for the first time.

    Wha? What is this? Is she supposed to be Maria Von Trapp? Why?

    And is it strange that when I heard about Wii for the first time I thought "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"?

    If it counts for anything I think you're a really cool mom.

     
  • At 10:37 PM, Anonymous tapu said…

    Hell, I thought it was said "why"....

     
  • At 11:58 AM, Blogger sunshine scribe said…

    Loved this post BA. I am having a birthday next week and I think I can claim some of the hip items on your list. But that video .. ya don't get it and in so many ways I know I am so not hip!

     

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