Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Leaving Me

Friday was the last day of school for my boys.

That night, we took them out to dinner to celebrate their freedom, and lament the loss of mine. Though the restaurant was crowded with similarly jubilant parties, and Diminutive One kept jumping up to use the bathroom, it was a relaxing dinner. We talked, we joked, we teased one another like we do.

Pre-Pubescent One was telling me all about the many couples that had formed on the last day of school. He explained that anybody who had been too timid or afraid to ask the person of their dreams to "go out with them", had done so the last day of school, knowing, that if rejected, they would not have to face their peers or their paramour the next day.

Strangely, I can see the adolescent logic in this thinking.

After naming several new power couples, he ducked his head and said shyly, "I have a girlfriend you know."

And then his face broke into an incandescent grin, the likes of which used to be reserved for dinosaurs and matchbox cars. Suddenly, I missed that little boy very much. Now it's dimples and big blue eyes that cause him to light up. Now, his heart is no longer mine to protect.

I looked at him, trying to see him out the eyes of the twelve year old girl that I once was. He is tall and lean with narrow hips and broad shoulders. He has thick and shiny brown hair, that is fashionably long and feathers pleasingly away from his face. This is the result of much careful styling, but it looks perfectly unaffected. His skin is still smooth and clear.

He has enormous hazel eyes and full lips. They are utterly kissable those lips, and always have been. As a baby and toddler, he had to endure much smooching on his succulent red mouth. That mouth is now full of metal, but it only serves to make him look disconcertinly mature. He could easily pass for fourteen or fifteen.

It hit me with a son is a hottie.

This realization made me feel a melange of emtions, but mostly, I felt inexpressibly afraid. Because he's a soft hearted kid; a sensitive soul. Like his Dad, he exudes tenderness, compassion and sensitivity. Like his Dad, he doesn't feel the need for a lot of hyper-masculine affectation. For that reason, girls have always been drawn to him. And for that reason, I fear his heart will be broken time and time again.

Girls are going to eat him alive, and there is nothing I can do about it. No band-aid, no ice bellied boo-boo bear, no tender kisses will be able to ease the anguish of lost love.

He noticed me scrutinizing him, and his grin widened self-consciously.

"What?!?" he asked.

He thought I was making fun of him, but I wasn't.

"Nothing, honey! I'm just happy for you. Tell me about her."

Her name is Ellen. She is beautiful. Ellen is nice. Ellen is smart, athletic and popular. Ellen this. Ellen that. Ellen, Ellen, Ellen. He wants to invite her over. He wants to take her to the movies.

I felt the Margarita that had been pleasantly warming my cheeks turn into a flaming ball of acid in the pit of my stomach. He had it bad.

I asked him if he had kissed her, and he confirmed my suspicions by turning scarlet and averting his gaze.

" it time for us to have the talk?"

I was really just teasing. We explained to him where babies come from long ago. Inquisitive children have a way of ferretting out information before we're really ready to give it. In Pre-Pubescent One's case...that was at the tender age of seven, when he oh so casually asked me out of a clear blue sky..."So, Mom, what exactly is sex anyway?"

But with a sinking feeling, I realized the day was coming when we would have to discuss all the really tough stuff about sex.

He looked up at me through his lashes and mumbled "I already know about abstinence Mom."

Husband smirked. If only it could be so easy. If only I could tell my children not to have sex until they're married and know without a doubt that they would obey that would make things a whole lot easier. But both Husband and I are pragmatists. We will teach them about birth control and preach the gospel of Trojan to them.

"Well, honey, there's a lot more to it than that, but I don't think we need to talk about it right now."

He was noticeably relieved.

"So, ummm, you still love me the most, right?"

I was teasing again. Sorta. Kinda. Not really.

I've always known that my boys would leave me one day, and that another woman would become their best friend and confidant. These puppy loves are a horrible precursor to losing my boys. I know they will always love me. But they won't always need me. And that is a terrible truth to face.

"What do you mean, Mom? I can't like, date you you know!"

He looked fainly nauseated at the thought.

"Well....let's say, we were in a burning building and you could only save one of us. Who would you choose?"

He didn't hesitate.

"Well, I don't think I could carry you Mom."

He was teasing. The smartass apple doesn't fall far from the tree. But I must have looked stricken because he hastened to reassure me.

"But, I could like, drag you or something!

Jesus, this dating thing is going to kill us both.

I think it will be easier with Diminutive One, whom, I suspect, will love 'em and leave 'em and never be the worse for it. least they can't get pregnant.


  • At 12:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Oh, lordy...

    I've had some version of this conversation (as the friendly uncle-type) a half-dozen times, and it never ceases to amuse me, remind me of my mortality and insignificance, and give me hope for the future.

    Very cute. I can't wait until you meet Ellen and tell us all about her!

  • At 12:43 PM, Blogger Foofa said…

    I am really excited to hear about Ellen as well! I have a much younger cousin and I remember when he got his first girlfriend. I thought it was the cutest thing. However, as a mother, I can imagine how hard it would be.

  • At 12:49 PM, Blogger Avalon said…

    Oh, your baby boy is growing up. Don't worry so much about his heart. His Dad did OK!

  • At 4:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Um, yes he can't carry a baby but he most decidedly can "get pregnant" in that there would be a little baby that is 1/2 of him.
    And that counts. Let's hope that doesn't happen.

    Why is that we have the most unruly supply of hormones when we have the least amount of wisdom? A flaw in the system.

  • At 9:45 PM, Blogger Christine said…

    "So, ummm, you still love me the most, right?"

    My son isn't dating yet, but I have envisioned the future, and I get it why there are those mothers-in-law who are so possessive of their sons. When do you stop having that desire, that they love you most?

  • At 12:33 AM, Blogger Six Green Zebras said…

    Damn you, I hate when you make me cry. This is the exact moment that I am dreading with the Little Man. Bring on whatever - alcohol, heavy metal, but holy hannah - don't let my boy leave me for another woman (even if she's only 12)!

    He has started in with "Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Mo" and it goes a little like this: "....catch a tiger by his toe. My mom says to pick the best one and I am it."

    That's the innocence that I want to last, for the next 30 years, LOL.

  • At 5:10 AM, Blogger Kerry McKibbins said…

    Oh man, I am so not ready for this......ugh.

  • At 7:54 AM, Blogger Maureen Fitzgerald said…

    Thank you - you are making the terrible two's look much more manageable right now. I will never survive the teen years....

  • At 9:19 AM, Blogger OhTheJoys said…

    Phew. Good thing this is far off for me. I don't know how I'll survive!

  • At 9:37 AM, Blogger Code Yellow Mom said…


    It's only a few years down the road for me, I know. Now if I had girls, I'd be inclined to shrug off the drama of adolescent love - I mean, their hearts get broken about everything from the time they're six months old. But someone breaks my boys' hearts? Whooey! I don't know if I can take it.

    You will have to share more about Ellen.

  • At 1:28 PM, Blogger Sarahviz said… this is what I have to look forward to with my 3 little boyz, huh? This post of yours kinda made me sad. Hopefully it's just the PMS.

  • At 2:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My word. My own head is reeling after that conversation. I cannot imagine it being my kid in that conversation, though I know some day it will be.

    You've said he's so much like his dad in the sensitivity department. Maybe, like his dad, he'll hit the jackpot with a girl like his mom. And maybe the girls won't eat him alive. After all, aren't the sensitive types the ones we pine over ourselves?

    Worst case scenario, if he does end up broken hearted over a girl sometime, he seems like the type to learn from the situation. Much as it pains us to sit back and let them get their hearts broken, those are some of the lessons that we as parents just can't teach them.

    Hang in there. And top off that margarita.

  • At 7:10 PM, Blogger mamatulip said…

    Damn right, at least they can't get pregnant. LOL!

    I remember looking at my brother (who is much, much younger than I am) and realizing that he was a hottie. It kind of keeled me over for a minute.

    It's going to be bad with my son.

  • At 7:43 PM, Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said…

    I don't know what it was about it, but this post made me smile. I know I should feel a pang of sorrow for our kids who will grow up and leave us some day. But I just can't. Maybe it's that summer love in the air.

    "My son is a hottie." I don't suppose you can soothe a boy's broken heart with ice cream and chick flicks, eh?

  • At 11:45 PM, Blogger jean said…

    I feel your pain. Keep me posted about it.

    Loved the line about the "gospel according to Trojan".

  • At 6:39 AM, Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said…

    Oh dear, this has me weeping and my son is just 2 1/2! I can't even imagine him loving another more than me! Crazy, huh? Oh here he comes, ready to jump in my arms for a hug. Ahhhhhh. . .

  • At 8:46 AM, Blogger Sarah said…

    Now you've done it. I was just getting used to the idea of Ben turning 10 in a couple of months, and then...bam!

    I had forgotten about the girl thing.

    But it's coming.

    Yet another thing to feel bereft about.

    Such a nice post, this.

  • At 9:07 AM, Blogger Ruth Dynamite said…

    He'll still drag you out of a burning building! You're his mom. His #1 love. Forever and always.
    Very very sweet.

  • At 4:22 PM, Blogger Lisa said…

    I just posted about something like this lately too. (About how little boys grow up and how in the HELL am I going to be able to let go!) Someone told me to check out this post. I'm so glad I did.

    This was a wonderful post. I can so see my son and I in the same place you and your oldest are in 7 years...

  • At 4:23 AM, Blogger luckyzmom said…

    I feel it is harder to let sons go, but they always love their mama where as daughters become better mothers, decorators, wives etc and make sure you know it.


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