Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Monday, May 07, 2007

M is for Monday, Meme, and Migraine

I have to thank Lucy's Mom over at Musings From the Left Coast for tagging me for a meme.

I know that you all know that I'm not much for memes. But I have been dealing with a migraine that will not loose its hold on my poor head since Thursday. I can't really think, much less be creative. I can, however, manage to ramble disjointedly about ten quirky qualities that I possess.

1. I like to pick mascara off my eyelashses. Sometimes I have to reapply mascara three or four times a day because I have picked it all off. Sometimes, I put it on just so I can pick it off. I actively avoid mascaras that claim "no clumping!" because clumps make for better picking.

2. I hate cooking. No...I LOATHE cooking. I do not find anything interesting, challenging or enjoyable about it. I find it a monumental waste of time and effort. I find it exceedingly boring. For me, it is the epitome of drudgework. I hate the chopping and peeling, I hate trying to time everything properly, I hate the mess. I hate killing myself to put a nice meal on the table only to have it decimated in about 4 seconds flat. If, that is, nobody feels compelled to convince me that they will convulse and die if the food I have prepared touches their lips. I would hire a chef before a maid any day. I think Carol Brady had it made with Alice around.

3. I like stuff. I'm a collector, but not a pack rat. There is a distinct difference. I'm pretty ruthless about clutter, that is to say, non essential ephemera that gathers daily in my home. But things that are beautiful or interesting are different. I have a pretty large collection of Lefton Holly Christmas china (it started with a few pieces handed down from my grandmother), vintage perfume bottles, and vintage children's books. I have small collections of vintage photographs, hats, linens and clothing. Hmmmmm. I see a theme here.

4. I love books. All books. I like the way they feel, I like the way they smell. I like to see them lined up neatly on my bookshelves, like a higgeldy piggeldy picket fence. I especially love children's books with beautiful illustrations or clever verses. I still buy picture books occasionally, even though my children have outgrown them. I have saved many of their books because I couldn't bear to part with them. I sometimes buy books I really have no intention of reading just because something about the book appealed to me, other than the subject matter. I have to get rid of many of the books that I read, simply because I don't have room for them. It hurts me to part with even the trashiest, most sensationalistic and poorly written paperback. My fondest wish is to one day have a home with a room that I can claim as a library. I will line the walls with shelves and fill them to bursting with all my books.

5. I am exceedingly girly. This surprises people who only know me from the internet. I guess "intellectuals" can't be girly. It goes against the code, or something. But I am. I love make-up, perfume, nail polish, jewelry and shoes. I rarely leave the house without make-up. I wouldn't dream of going out in sweats, even to the ballpark. I guess this is due to the fact that my mother was a hairdresser for all of my growing up years. I had my hair in rollers before I could walk, by my own request. My mother says that even as a toddler I would happily sit while my hair was set in rollers or pin curls. From there it just escalated. She often took me to trade shows and conventions and I found it all very glamorous. Sometimes I still consider going to beauty school. It's in my blood, I guess.

6. I cannot sleep with a closet door open. No way, no how, no question. It completely freaks me out to see a yawning chasm of blackness. I prefer not to sleep next to a closet as well. I can do it, but I don't like it. If I must sleep next to a closet, I do not turn my back to it. I have no idea where this closet fear came from.

7. I get along much better with men than women. I have no patience for drama, petty power trips, histrionics, gossip or one upmanship. I only have a few close women friends. I avoid situations and activities that would necessitate my being in contact with groups of women. The dynamics are just too exhausting and irritating. This is not to say that I don't like and respect women. I think women are a force to be reckoned with. It just seems that the women I encounter (probably because I am a stay at home Mom) are not the movers and shakers of my generation. I really should make more effort to come into contact with the kinds of women I like and admire.

8. I left home the day I turned 18 with $100 in my pocket to move 900 miles away with my boyfriend, who later dumped me for my best friend, who was married to his best friend, after being together for six years. I never thought twice about doing it. I never considered that I might not be able to feed myself or afford to put a roof over my head. I consider this to have been both incredibly brave and incredbily foolish.

9. I am very, very, very bad at math. My brain just does not work that way. I can remember dates, facts, names, stanzas of poetry, lines from books I read twenty years ago, names of paitings and who painted them, etc. I can write pretty well. I can analyze and discuss abstract concepts. But I cannot manage any but the most simple mathematical equations. I carry a small caluclator in my purse to figure tip, tax, etc. My husband is astounded by this. He says that math is just logic. The numbers never lie, they never change. They are static. Dependable. It doesn't matter. They just don't make sense to me.

10. I was a doula for about 4 years. It was one of the most rewarding times of my life. I was considering going on to Midwifery school, but the hours and the time commitment were just too much and conflicted with my parental responsibilities. Babies are not born on a schedule, unfortunately, and most baby sitters don't have a "drop in any time" policy. Nor does public school look fondly upon chronic tardiness.

So there you go. Please feel free to laugh, snort, smirk...etc. I am going back to bed to snuggle up to an ice pack and an eye mask. One of these days, I'm going to break down and ask for some drugs. You'd think 25 years of migraines would have compelled me to do so by now. But nooooooo, I have to be a martyr. I did take drugs in the dark ages of migraine. They were horrible. I couldn't function. I know migraine meds are better these days, but I'd almost rather just sleep it off. Drugs freak me out. Make that #11.

Oh wait...I'm supposed to tag people...ummm....Kirdy, Mel, Nina, Mischief, AA, Lizardbreath and Doodaddy. You're it. I'll link you later, I promise. No pressure. Do it if you want. If not, fine by me.

16 Comments:

  • At 8:29 AM, Blogger Kelly said…

    You were a doula? Awesome. I have so much respect for people who help facilitate childbirth and provide support to women and their families. It's a priceless service.

     
  • At 9:06 AM, Blogger jen said…

    your poor head. your poor, exceedingly girly head.

    that made me smile really really big for some reason. not the migraine, dude. the girlyishness.

     
  • At 9:46 AM, Blogger Oh, The Joys said…

    I could use some girly this week.

     
  • At 10:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    After years of taking a prescription pain killer for my migraines, I have discovered Advil Liqui-gels. They really work.

    Carrie

     
  • At 11:24 AM, Blogger Lucy's Mom said…

    I think you and my sis would be good friends if you should ever meet. You seem to have so much in common. She is an elementary school librarian so clearly is on the same page as you about books and especially children's books. She is also exceedingly girly. Much more so than I. She calls me her sister the jock. She is also unbelievably bad at math. I can't understand how a grown woman with a Masters Degree can barely add 2+2 but that's a fact. She also used to get horrible, crippling migraine headaches. However, she now has some kind of RX and the minute she feels one coming on, she takes a pill and POOF!, the headache is gone and the pain never materializes. You really should get a prescription. It's crazy to suffer.

    See? I told you that you and sis would get along. She's Mrs. Who over at "I Know Where You Can Find It". The link is in my blog. Check it out.

     
  • At 12:30 PM, Blogger Natalie said…

    I think those are awesome fun things. Being a doula is amazing. My sister was born at home with a midwife and i have a great respect for those professions. I also love children's books. All the books from my childhood are still in my parent's basement and I love going through them. Children's literature was one of my favorite courses in college!

     
  • At 3:06 PM, Blogger thailandchani said…

    Very interesting stuff! Actually, I like these memes because they reveal things that would unlikely be revealed in a focussed post. :)

    Peace,

    ~Chani

     
  • At 5:35 PM, Anonymous mischief said…

    Stupid question - what does it mean to be "tagged"? (Sorry - I'm still new to the blogosphere.)

    Hope you feel better SOON! And thanks for the smiles, in spite of your migraine.

     
  • At 5:48 PM, Blogger bubandpie said…

    It's because of #7 that people are surprised by #5.

    I hate the timing aspect of cooking too. So stressful. Baking, on the other hand, I enjoy: you prepare everything at your leisure, then pop it in the oven and watch TV. Then there are cookies.

     
  • At 6:44 PM, Blogger mamatulip said…

    Ugh. Sorry about the migraine.

    Loved this meme. You're interesting.

     
  • At 6:51 PM, Blogger Mom101 said…

    Laugh, snort and smirk? Hell, 1-7 pretty much sum me up as well. Sometimes I think we might be very different and then sometimes I read something like this and think wow, we're so so much alike.

    Although I could never be a doula in a million years. I totally admire that in a (far more giving, benevolent, patient) woman.

     
  • At 8:32 PM, Blogger Mrs. Chicky said…

    You and I have quite a few things in common. I think we'd get along just fine if we ever met. If you could stand a tomboy who also rarely leaves the house without makeup, that is.

     
  • At 9:20 PM, Blogger Kerry said…

    I"m right there with you on the closet thing, lol.

     
  • At 10:32 PM, Anonymous doodaddy said…

    Wow, my first meme! Thanks! Got to get to work!

     
  • At 8:14 PM, Blogger Starrlight said…

    Amen to 7! Although trying to reconcile that with teh doula part is odd!

     
  • At 11:58 PM, Blogger Code Yellow Mom said…

    my mom's a hairdresser, too...and I can't sleep with the closet door open...and i am very impatient with women (which is why i am so glad i have sons!)...and i am dreaming of an unmedicated birth because i hate meds! so cool that you were a doula, btw.

    hope your head feels better soon - you managed a very fun meme even with a migraine. that's quite impressive.

     

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