Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Social Theory in the Blogosphere

*An addendum to this post has been added below*

I have a theory that I'd like to test. Bear with me here.

My sons are both circumcised. Why? Because Husband felt strongly about it, while I, not having a penis, did not. I imagine it had something to with the fact that his father had to undergo circumcision at an advanced age due to recurring bladder infections, and the resulting agony. But I didn't specifically ask. He said he wanted them circumcised, I said okay.

I got to decide pretty much everything regarding labor and childbirth, since the byproduct of our union was going to be dragged kicking and screaming from my tender and theretofore amazingly snug orifice and not his.

I decided on how they would be fed (Breast), how they would sleep (Sometimes co, sometimes solo) what kind of diapers they would wear (Are you kidding me?? Disposable. The End.) and whom their pediatrician would be. I selected all the baby paraphanalia. All of it.

Ergo, I felt that he deserved the privilege of making this decision. I wanted him to feel involved and relevant. I wanted him to know that I cared that he cared. So our boys were circumcised. And that was that.

I am not eaten up by guilt. I don't think they have been "butchered" or mutilated. I think their penii look just fine. I think little boys who have not been circumcised look just fine too. I don't consider one choice superior to the other. If for some reason they couldn't have been circumcised, it would have made very little difference to me one way or another.

The above statements are true, but I posted them for the sake of social science in the blogosphere. I want to see how much my page views increase when I post a juicy keyword and/or take a controversial stance on a hot button issue. And I want to see if my readership as a whole increases. If so, maybe I'll make a point to mention something controversial on a regular basis.

I'll let you know what happens.

Maybe some important people would be interested in my oh so scientificly sound study.

This could really lead to something.

Addendum for the reader who wondered why male genital "mutilation" is acceptable, while female genital mutilation is not:

Female genital mutilation really is mutilation in the truest sense of the word. In FGM, the clitoris is removed entirely, thereby rendering the female unable to achieve orgasm. (Unless she is one of the elusive few who experiences orgasm by pentetration alone. Frankly, I think that's a urban legend.) In circumcision, the glans is left intact, and only superfluous tissue (meaning that although foreskin does have a purpose, it is not necessary to achieve orgasm) is removed.


  • At 12:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    If you really want to increase your traffic, type the word "home school" anywhere in the post.

  • At 12:36 PM, Blogger Sarahviz said…

    Is it immature of me that I cracked up at your use of the plural "penii"?

  • At 1:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I am looking forward to the results of your study. I predict increased activity.

    Add me to the list who LOL at 'penni'. ;?)

  • At 1:13 PM, Blogger OhTheJoys said…

    It went the same way in this house. (Though singular, not plural.)

  • At 1:23 PM, Blogger Avalon said…

    Meh, I only have a girl. No reaction from me.

    FWIW, in my medical career, it is harder to clean and catheterize the turtle in it's shell.

  • At 2:01 PM, Blogger Unknown said…

    You are SO bad! Love it. Totally love it. I'm also loving the plural of penis. Penii? Is that from the latin?

  • At 2:03 PM, Blogger Foofa said…

    Yet another reason why I want a girl. I have no idea what i would do about circumcision.

  • At 2:13 PM, Blogger Bea said…

    I've found that posting about McCain Deep 'n' Delicious cake has led to a really surprising number of Google hits. Also, using song titles as post titles. Let us know how the penis strategy works out, though!

  • At 4:25 PM, Blogger Lisa said…

    Hey, that's how the hubby felt here too. And like you, I was all, "Yeah, sure. Either circumsize or un is ok."

    My husband told every nurse and doctor in the hospital a few hours before the procedure to use some numbing cream on our son. Poor guy was practically in a cold sweat.

  • At 5:00 PM, Blogger Code Yellow Mom said…

    Let me help you out and mention it a couple more times in the comment section...penis, penis, penis...circumcision, circumcision, circumcision...oh, and home school and circumcision. :)

    I'm intensely interested in this study of yours. And looking forward to more latin plurals.

    They're all circumcised 'round here. Due to husband's insistence, and my semi-indifference. Although husband could only watch it with the first made him cry.

  • At 5:55 PM, Blogger Emily Suess said…

    I once referenced three religions in a post. Something like "Christianity, Hindu, Islam" boy did that draw the crowds and the hateful comments. And my post was completely innocuous.

  • At 7:25 PM, Blogger Christine said…

    My boy was circ'd, too. Similar husband's insistence was stronger than my counter.

    I get some pretty interesting searches; it's amazing what people want to watch other people doing. Blech.

  • At 11:42 AM, Blogger Namito said…

    If the Impling had been a he instead of a she, the decision making process would have broken down almost exactly the same as yours. And my husband's decision to circumcise would probably be influenced by his family history and his pediatric rotation in med school.

  • At 1:21 PM, Blogger Random Thinker said…

    I could never figure out why Male Genital Mutilation (circumcision) is OK whereas Female Genital Mutilation is not. Is it cultural bias cloaked under medical necessity?

  • At 1:55 PM, Blogger Kimberly said…

    Very interesting. I have all daughters but I'm sure "vagina" or maybe "labia" would do the trick.

    Good luck with your study!

  • At 3:50 PM, Blogger Unknown said…

    Your post now mentions clitoris as well as penis. The hit rate must be going through the roof!

    I'm looking forward to seeing the results too.

    Er... of the experiment, not the operation, :)

  • At 4:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'm glad you feel no guilt- I do. I allowed my first son to be circumsized. I caved at the last minute. Oddly, his father was unconcerned about it, and in fact said to just keep him natural if I wanted (I blame the weird hormones for the loss of my mind). So, it was me. If I had to tell you that I go home and burn my child with hot pokers I would feel less guilt (perhaps hyperbole, but not much). I regretted it immediately. I will never forget the look in his eyes and face when they brought him back.

    My second son came to me intact and no way would I ever consider changing that. I have done a lot of research on it, and really there are very few things that require it later in life, but it can be done with very little trauma if needed.

    For me, mostly it comes down to this (and thus probably the reason for so much guilt): I believe it is morally wrong to alter someone's body without their permission. (And yes, that includes the piercing of ears as babies.) When you do something that is against your own personal beliefs it is harder to reconcile.

  • At 11:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    For me, it's boobs. "Boobs" brings them to my blog in droves. Sadly, I am certain that they click away, disappointed.

  • At 4:08 AM, Blogger luckyzmom said…

    My husband continues to be traumatized because he had to be circumsized twice. Poor sweet baby. And my brother was circumsized at the same time I had my tonsils out, when I was maybe 3 and he 4 1/2. That was in the olden days!

  • At 7:14 AM, Blogger Kirdy said…

    Putting your bra size on your site also has a large click ratio. You'd be amazed at how many people now find my site based on "34DDD". That still disturbs me less than the person who found my blog with the search "kindergarten killer Cho". Yeeeah.

  • At 8:18 AM, Blogger Namito said…

    Leaving out all of the religious, cultural, and medical risk issues,
    here are explanations of both female genital mutilation and male circumcision. You can judge for yourselves what the differences are.

    from the World Health Organization:
    "Female genital mutilation (FGM), often referred to as 'female circumcision', comprises all procedures involving partial or total removal of the external female genitalia or other injury to the female genital organs whether for cultural, religious or other non-therapeutic reasons. There are different types of female genital mutilation known to be practised today. They include:
    Type I - excision of the prepuce, with or without excision of part or all of the clitoris;
    Type II - excision of the clitoris with partial or total excision of the labia minora;
    Type III - excision of part or all of the external genitalia and stitching/narrowing of the vaginal opening (infibulation);
    Type IV - pricking, piercing or incising of the clitoris and/or labia; stretching of the clitoris and/or labia; cauterization by burning of the clitoris and surrounding tissue;
    scraping of tissue surrounding the vaginal orifice (angurya cuts) or cutting of the vagina (gishiri cuts);
    introduction of corrosive substances or herbs into the vagina to cause bleeding or for the purpose of tightening or narrowing it; and any other procedure that falls under the definition given above."

    From (Linked from medline:
    Female genital cutting (FGC) is the collective name given to traditional practices that involve the partial or total cutting away of the female external genitalia or other injury to the female genitals, whether for cultural or other non-therapeutic reasons. 1,2 Historically, it has been also called "female genital mutilation" or "female circumcision."

    From Medline:
    Circumcision is the surgical removal of the foreskin of the penis.

  • At 12:08 AM, Blogger Sharon L. Holland said…

    The circumcison thing doesn't ruffle my feathers.

    As for increasing visits: About four months ago, a creepy faux-celebrity anounced he had made a porn movie and gave the press its title. On the day he announced it, the only web page on the internet with that title? An innocent post from me about buying bread at the bakery.

    I usually get 30-60 hits a day. That day I got 4000. Ew.

  • At 5:58 PM, Blogger tinamtl said…

    Having girls - I don't really have a strong opinion on it. But I don't think I would have done it - if I had - had Boys.

    You are so interesting!

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