Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Because Sometimes, You Just Have To

I like sports. I like watching my boys play sports. I think sports are good for kids, especially if you have one who has a tendency towards chubiness like Diminutive One. Keeping kids active is important. Teaching the values that come with team sports is important.

But somtimes, those lessons are difficult to learn.

As I mentioned in a recent post, Fall Ball has started. Both boys have moved up to a new league, and for Diminutive One especially, the transition has been somewhat difficult. Because of a late birthday, he stayed in the lower league longer than he really needed to. He was one of the oldest as well as one of the most accomplished players. He got used to that.

Now, he is once again the youngest, and his skills can't compare with those who have been playing in this league for several seasons. That's a little disheartening after being Top Dog for so long. But he's not alone. All the kids that have moved up are in the same boat.

It used to be that he knew everyone, regardless of who happened to get on his team. Not so in the new league. So he's been trying to make friends. Socialization is hard for Diminutive One under the best of circumstances, so I was really proud to see him making an effort to get to know his new teammates at one of the recent practices.

As I witnessed the following scene, however, my pride quickly turned to white hot rage.

Diminutive One: "Hey. What's your name?"

Cocky Little Snot: "None of your business."

Diminutive One: "Well, what grade are you in?"

Cocky Little Snot: "None of your business."

There wasa a pregnant pause as Diminutive One was temporarily stymied. Honestly, I don't think he's ever encountered such purposeful maliciousness.

Cocky Little Snot: "How old are you anyway?"

Dimiutive One: "Nine. I'm in 4th grade."

Cocky Little Snot: "I only talk to 10 year olds."

Diminutive One: "You were talking to Nick."

Cocky Little Snot: "Well. He's cool."

There was another pause as Diminutive One tried to process the kid's hostility.

Cocky Little Snot: "What kind of bat is that? Where'd you get that thing, Wal-Mart? What a piece of crap."

Diminutive One shrugged. It's a hand me down from his brother. He has no idea where it came from, nor does he care. A bat is a bat, as far as he is concerned.

Cocky Little Snot: "I bet I have the most expensive bat in the whole league."

Diminutive One shrugged again. He doesn't know and again, he doesn't care. And he decided that the kid is not worth his time or effort.

He seemed relatively nonplussed about the whole incident. Part of his difficulty with social interaction is that he really doesn't concern himself with others' wants, needs, or opinions.

But I...I was seething.

I thought about butting in and cutting that kid to ribbons with a few well chosen words. I thought about how I could wound him to the core without really even trying. I thought about a look of crestfallen shock on his smug little face. I relished the thought for a moment.

But I didn't do any of that, of course. What I did, is call husband, who, due to work issues, was stuck at the office.

Me: "Hey..umm...we're going to be a little late getting home."

Husband: "Okay. How come?"

Me: "I'm going to buy Diminutive One a new bat."

Now...we try very hard to teach our kids that material things are not important. They have far more than I ever did as a kid, but they don't have nearly as much as many of their peers. And when they ask why they can't have a certain thing, we try to be frank about our financial situation, the decisions we've made to keep me at home, and how we find other things more important than stuff, such as family time, a less stressful lifestyle, and pride in ourselves rather than our belongings.

I know that buying Diminutive One a new bat is the wrong thing to do. I should talk to him about being the bigger person and turning the other cheek and all that pacifist bullshit. But I don't care.

From my childhood I know what it means to never be the kid with the latest coolest thing. Just this once, I want him to the cool kid.

If I am honest though...that bat is not for Diminutive One. It's for me. Because I can't buy him a cure for his learning disability, and I can't buy him an education tailored to his needs at a fancy private school, and I can't buy him the ability to make friends with ease. I can't bankroll his happiness though I sure as hell would if I could.

But by God...I can buy him a damn cool bat.


  • At 3:43 PM, Blogger Phoenix said…

    Maybe the old bat can be shoved up that little shits...ok, never mind. I think it's great that your son kept trying though.

  • At 3:48 PM, Blogger flutter said…

    D.O. is so cool. I love that he just didn't let that little butthead even get to him. I would have bought him a new bat, too.

  • At 3:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Dismemberment might be appropriate......maybe not.

    How sad would we be, if we were the mum of the snotty one?

    But do you know what? Our children, with all their foibles, all their therapy and guidance are so much finer human beings than the hoy palloy.

    Very best wishes, if I were the least bit sporty and lie to say that 'we're batting for you.'

  • At 6:20 PM, Blogger Crazed Nitwit said…

    I like that you realize who you are really buying by the bat for. :) Been there. My boys' bats now cost over $200 for wood! After many years as baseball mom I gave the baseball parent mantle to McHub. At open house I ran into the mom of one of the boys who was on JV with BBB, she knew who I was and I was clueless. I apologized and said I go to school full time so I only made it to one or two games lst spring. McHub knows em all. Everyone loves McHub. Even if I go to the games I can't keep everyone's names straight let alone their parents! Bad baseball Mommy. Yes I am.

  • At 6:34 PM, Blogger Irreverent Antisocial Intellectual said…

    The spawn of a MomBot.
    I loathe those little shits.

    If it makes you feel any better, I've disciplined those little turds, they just mouth off to you and make you want to hit them - hard. Which of course you just can't do. In public. With witnesses. Or leave marks.

  • At 7:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Been there, too many times. It's why I became (and remain) team mom. We've been lucky to stay with the same group/coach for 3 Springs and 4 Falls now...I try really hard to gently address those things when I see them. It may be wasted effort but, can you tell the coach (or team mom) you think a teambuilding activity might be nice...? Maybe an early cage practice followed by pizza somewhere?

    Mary Istvan

  • At 7:26 PM, Blogger Amie Adams said…

    What a little shit. I'm glad DO decided he wasn't worth his time.

    I've never seen kids in our league behave like that. Oh!!! If I did!!

    Sorry you and DO had to go through that. The part that makes me the most upset is that kid will probably always have it easy. He'll probably never be cut down to size. I'm sorry for the people who will be in his path.

  • At 7:41 PM, Blogger thailandchani said…

    I wish you had said something to that snotty kid! He would certainly have it coming. What a brat!



  • At 7:52 PM, Blogger Sarah said…

    What a turd. I'm impressed with DO for hanging in and for not crumbling in the face of so much unwarranted hostility.

    What an a*shat. I'm seething with you.

    I hope DO loves his new bat.

  • At 9:30 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The best bat and the best mom! A double-header! :-)

    Last year (I think I blogged it) a girl bragged about her $30 winter hat and fancy coat.

    I bought my daughter the same brand because I just couldn't stand it anymore! That other kid made me nuts - and I taught my daughter that you never tell or brag or mention the price of an item, especially one you got graciously as a gift.


  • At 9:55 PM, Blogger Cathy, Amy and Kristina said…

    What a snotty little brat. I can't stand kids like that.

    I'd buy the bat too.

  • At 9:58 PM, Blogger Unknown said…

    As the poorest family in our school (probably, I don't know for sure, but it's not even a close race I don't think) I seeth when other kids hold up their material goods as some kind standard to say that they're better than your kid is. It makes me nuts.

    When my kids were in middle school it was the worst, but now they have figured out that the kids who behave so badly do so because they're insecure and have to build themselves up materialistically.

    Buying a new bad for the DO isn't a bad thing to do, especially since it will make him a happy kid. But it won't stop that shitty kid's behavior. That kind of behavior comes from being unhappy with yourself and picking on other kids to build yourself up. A new bat isn't going to change that, just like a new broom didn't change Malfoy.

    But you do the best you can, and you're getting the bat for you, to ensure that YOU feel you put everything into making DO's experience a good one. That makes you a wicked pissah mom in my book!

  • At 3:12 AM, Blogger Yashodhara said…


    Diminutive One really sounds like a cool kid.

    He's the hero in the story.

    There're always going to be the bad guys, but he's going to win!

    Hope he loves the new bat.

  • At 7:38 AM, Blogger Avalon said…

    The best part, DO will probably LOVE his new bat......not because it's the most expensive or the best, but because you bought it for him. That's why he sounds like a great kid, and you are a great Mom.

  • At 9:14 AM, Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said…

    Ooh, tough situation. I would have bought the bat too. It doesn't hurt to give our kids a little help.

  • At 9:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The simple fact that he doesn't care about the concerns and opinions of other's probably worked to his advantage. Snotty brat didn't get a reaction from him, which of course he wanted.

  • At 12:00 PM, Blogger crazymumma said…

    Whatever it means to you it will probably mean more to him.

    Those are great values you are teaching your kids, to be the better person, to not desire material things.


    But sometimes to be the kid with the shiniest newest coolest thing is just the best experience.

    And I just gotta wonder about the parents of Little Snot.

  • At 12:13 PM, Blogger Mad said…

    Power dynamics for the 8-12 yr old set are truly frightening. I keep hoping that Little Snot will be hoisted by his own petard. What's more likely to happen, though, is he will grow up and forget all about having been a shit as a kid. Or maybe, he'll be a shit adult.

    I'm glad you bought the bat--for all the reasons you cite.

  • At 1:16 PM, Blogger Namito said…

    D.O. rocks. He's got the social skills DOWN. Cocky Lil' Snot, on the other hand...needs a good reality smackdown. And better parents.

  • At 2:27 PM, Blogger Amy Y said…

    What a little shit that kid is!! I hate other peoples' kids. Good on you for keeping your mouth shut... I would have slapped that kid to Kansas!
    I hope you and D.O. love that new bat. :) I think he sounds like a swell kid. :)

  • At 3:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It makes you wonder what the parents of that child is teaching him. Obviously not compassion or manners. I hope your little man loves his new bat. =0)

  • At 3:44 PM, Blogger Foofa said…

    I think D.O handled that situation so well and for doing that well deserves a new bat!

  • At 1:50 AM, Blogger steffj89 said…

    we live in a very underpriviledged rural area(actually think poor poor) many of the kids get the things they need like coats etc from the school. my kids are some of the most financially blessed in this area...scary thought really when you think about it cause we live paycheck to paycheck and pray from month to month to continue making it, but we are in the 5% minority at their school system that is above poverty level. I pray that I am teaching my children that the things to value are friends and family and not material things.
    i hope you got the bestest bat you could find though.
    i have only had to deal with one track meet so far (boys are 3 and 4) and my oldest was heartbroken cause he isnt a fastest runner.

  • At 6:29 AM, Blogger Ruth Dynamite said…

    Good for you, mom. Hope that new bat knocks the nasty squirt off his self-appointed perch.

  • At 4:44 PM, Blogger Mimi said…

    You're such a cool mom!

    And kudos to D1!

  • At 6:36 PM, Blogger Code Yellow Mom said…

    There is nothing that gets me seething more than when other kids are just senselessly mean and rude to mine.

    Buying a bat is an awesome thing to do. You go!


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