Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Friday, September 28, 2007

I Think I Might Be a Lesbian Now



How much do you love HER???


In other Friday randomness....

Why is it that when you are NOT looking for something specific (i.e. an outfit for a funeral, a camisole to go under that sheer top, etc.) you find all kind of wonderful stuff that fits well, is available in your size and color and is on sale? But when you really need something, it's as if the heavens have opened up and swallowed every single item of that kind in the known world?

Why are people willing to spend twice the retail value plus shipping for items on ebay? I don't mean collector's items or rare items. I'm talking about kids's clothing. In trying to buy brand name jeans for my oldest son, I was repeatedly outbid. I wasn't lowballing either. I made what I considered to be a fair and reasonable bid for USED clothing. But my maximum price was exceeded by another bidder every single time. After factoring in shipping, I could get them for that price at the store, maybe less if I catch a sale. Weird.

Also, why are people buying five pairs of $50 jeans for 12 and 13 year old boys? Do you have any idea how quickly adolescent boys grow?? Last year, PPO got two paris of brand name jeans for Christmas. The rest had to come from Old Navy and Target, or Plato's Closet (consignment store). I am simply not going to spend that kind of money on a kid, first of all, and secondly, on a kid who grows an inch a month. It's just NUTS. And yet, auction after auction proclaimed..."I bought these 12 pair of brand name jeans for my son and he outgrew them in a month!" I know...some fudging is expected in auction descriptions, but still....ever hear of a washing machine? Amazingly handy little household appliance.

Why are people surprised that Facebook cannot come up with a uniform standard of usage for their users that is fair and balanced (apologies to Fox News)? Mark Zuckerberg was TWENTY TWO when he founded Facebook in 2004 and is now acting CEO. Think back to what 22 year old guys were like. Yeah. Not the epitome of maturity and wisdom. Hell...most of them still blush if they have to go down the tampon aisle in the grocery store. No wonder he's disconcerted by a little nip. And no wonder that he defends the posting of pornographic images. The internet is the modern day equivalent of Playboy and Facebook is Mark Zuckerberg's own personal porn emporium. Certainly, he does not want to despoil the sanctity of his digital playground by allowing images of breasts serving in a functional capacity. It spoils the magic people.

I think teachers should have to be parents before they get their teaching degree. "Procreating before certification" Say it with me. I should start a campaign or something. If teachers were parents, they wouldn't give fourth graders a fuckton of homework and three projects all at once. "Map in a Month"? How about "Map When I get around to it?"

I also think good teachers should be paid way more than people like Michael Vick and Brittany Spears. It's a gross miscarriage of justice and a demonstration of our completely screwed up priorities that those individuals rake in millions while our nation's school teachers can barely eke out a living.

My first crush turned 49 yesterday and that makes me feel very old. Happy Birthday Shaun Cassidy. Loved your clothing line. Somewhere in a box there still exists a baby blue satin baseball jacket with your wholesome image silk screened upon it and a photo album full of clippings from Tiger Beat magazine. My childhood crushes in chronological order are as follows:

Shaun Cassidy
Lee Majors
Rick Springfield
David Hasselhoff
Michael Jackson (when he still still looked human)

In highschool I was not quite so devoted. I think my crushes changed weekly.

I have created a monster. I took Pre-Pubescent One to his first concert (Fallout Boy) in June, and now he is hooked. They are coming again sometime in the next couple of months and he is begging to go. He loved absolutely everything about the concert going experience. But yannow...when I was a kid you could go to a concert for ten or twelve bucks. The real big names might have cost a bit more. I remember begging my mother for $40 to go see Michael Jackson, but that included bus fare to and from the venue, which was four hours away in Chicago. These days, you have to take out a small loan to see anything, much less a big name concert headliner. I didn't get to go, incidentally. My mother thought it was outrageous to pay $40 to see a concert. Now, I'll never be able to say I saw Michael Jackson when he still had his own nose. Or, his own anything, really.

Husband is whisking me away this weekend for our anniversary. I have no idea where we are going, nor who will be caring for my children, only that someone will. I am strangely disconcerted by the fact that I am not at all disconcerted. That should tell you how seldom Husband and I get any time alone. He had to do an enormous amount of juggling to make this happen. It really sucks not having any extended family nearby to rely on in situations like these.

See you cats in the sandbox!!

24 Comments:

  • At 8:04 AM, Blogger Mrs. Chicky said…

    Have I told you lately I love you? I love your rants. For real. Your take on Facebook made me spit out my (decaf) coffee.

     
  • At 8:04 AM, Blogger SUEB0B said…

    Right on about teachers on both counts - being parents and getting paid. If I were a journalist, trying to right wrongs and tell amazing stories, I would be paid half what I make as a corporate tool. Go figure.

     
  • At 8:56 AM, Anonymous Kvetch said…

    Away for the weekend? That's the most important part of your post, girlfriend!

    Have fun!

     
  • At 8:56 AM, Blogger JMC said…

    Love Love Love the video!

     
  • At 9:22 AM, Blogger Erin said…

    You are AWESOME!!! Great video, great rants! Have a great weekend!

     
  • At 10:42 AM, Anonymous AA said…

    Warning: teacher thoughts following.

    I agree that we should be paid more! I believe that we need to be treated as professionals. Train them, hire them, expect them to do the job and then let them do it. If they don't do it get rid of them. BUT... do not tie teacher salaries, respectabilty or professionalism to test scores. There are too many variables there and not enought space here for me to get into that.

    In some ways I disagree with your idea to have all teachers be parents. I have been a teacher as a single, childless person and as a mom. Being a parent has made me more sympathetic to parents, but not necessarily a better teacher. Before I had kids.. "your" kids were the most important kids to me.. I thought about them all the time... I spent A LOT of my own money on them and my classroom. I can't do that anymore. My child is the most important thing in my life and his activities take a lot of my time and energy. Energy I used to spend thinking about my students. I can totally understand the old way of thinking that the school marm needed to be unmarried and childless.

    I'm not a bad teacher. In fact I think I am a good teacher. If I have grown as a teacher though it is mostly because I have gained insight and empathy through experience.

    We need to be sure that school districts do not always over look the more experienced teachers for the ones right out of school - who they can pay less.

    Oh, my profession, what a trip!

     
  • At 10:45 AM, Anonymous AA said…

    What a trip that I can't proof read for my typos before I hit post!

     
  • At 11:10 AM, Anonymous slackermommy said…

    My thoughts exactly but you write much more eloquently. This is why I love you so. I've been ranting a lot about this kind of stuff lately and I'm working on a post about the Hannah Montana concert ticket scam. Did you know that parents are spending hundreds and even a thousand plus for tickets to her concert? My God, what are we teaching our kids?

     
  • At 12:10 PM, Anonymous Organic Mama said…

    First of all, that video made me crack up and now I am thinking about playing it for my 12 year old... My favorite line was, "Don't roll your eyes at me!" The whole eye-rolling thing happens way too often in my household.
    As for your procreation before certification idea - I became a parent long before I began teaching and to a large extent, my parenting informed my teaching philosophy. I believe I am a better parent AND teacher for having both perspectives in my life. Salary-wise, I get paid very little, absurdly little, which makes me sometime seriously consider a career change, but for now, I love teaching enough to stay.

    Happy Anniversary and have a great weekend!!!

     
  • At 12:43 PM, Blogger flutter said…

    You kill me.

     
  • At 1:47 PM, Blogger URBAN PEDESTRIAN said…

    Exactly how underpaid ARE teachers in the US?? Ballpark, what would a teacher be paid? 'Cause up here in Canada, our teachers get a pretty decent salary, I think. No 6 figures, but they start at around $40K for elementary

     
  • At 2:47 PM, Blogger sltbee69 said…

    i'm new to your blog but i just wanted to say that already i love it. you crack me up and are so right on with many of your rants. have a great anniversary weekend!

     
  • At 4:13 PM, Anonymous mischief said…

    We lead similar lives, you and me. My son's high school English teacher is in her third year, goes to school herself two nights a week, and assigns the most homework out of all the teachers my kid has. (That may change now due to a certain letter I sent.)

    I love you, BA. Thanks for the rants and laughs.

     
  • At 4:47 PM, Blogger Jaime said…

    at my US school, teaching salaries start around $25K. elsewhere in the state you might find $30K

    as for being parents before teachers... i actually think everyone should have to be a teacher before they become a parent. think it might change a lot of the non-parenting we see in this world.

     
  • At 4:48 PM, Blogger jen said…

    No WAY! No WAY! Shawn Cassidy was my first crush too.

    I even had SC pants, his face was on one leg and the other Hardy Boy on the other.

    do do run run, indeed.

     
  • At 4:24 PM, Blogger thailandchani said…

    Totally agree about Facebook. I'd add MySpace to that. Those might be the most inane services ever devised by man, woman, child or beast.

    :)


    Peace,

    ~Chani
    http://thailandgal.blogspot.com

     
  • At 4:36 PM, Blogger slouching mom said…

    So much to comment on here!

    Let's start with Shawn Cassidy. Me, too! We must be the same age.

    Next...fourth-grade homework. I might just write a rant about this myself. As they're not quite old enough to do it on their own, it's your homework, too. Let's be real. And there's simply too much of it.

    Finally, yay for your trip! I can't wait to hear all about it!

     
  • At 7:32 PM, Blogger painted maypole said…

    I enjoyed your ramblings. You enjoy your weekend away, you lucky lesbian.

     
  • At 8:28 PM, Anonymous Gurukarm said…

    good rants :-) as always. bit bummed though; the video is saying "no longer available" - what, did it violate someone's copyright I wonder? Oh well... :-)

     
  • At 12:21 AM, Blogger Terri@SteelMagnolia said…

    *pouts*

    the video is no longer available..
    and NO WAY... he is not 49!!

    where does the time go?

    I was in love w/ Bobby Sherman and David Cassidy...
    those were my first two crushes.

     
  • At 12:21 AM, Blogger Terri@SteelMagnolia said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

     
  • At 2:26 AM, Anonymous Kelley said…

    Well that was a little of everything all wrapped up in a perfect little rant wasn't it? Fabulous! Just the way I like my bloggers. glad I stumbled across you.
    I wonder, does your husband look like Shaun Cassidy? Even just a tiny weeny bit? I was blogging the other day about how instead of people looking like their dogs, some women end up marrying their first crush. Scariest thing is my husband looks a tad like my first crush. Boy George. Shhhhh dont tell him I said that or I will be severely punished......

     
  • At 3:44 PM, Blogger Amy York said…

    Happy Anniversary! Hope you had a lovely trip!

     
  • At 9:22 PM, Blogger nina said…

    The video is not there anymore... too bad now I will never see what flipped ya!

     

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