Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Logic

Yesterday afternoon, I was making a list, preparing to go to the grocery store.

I try to avoid the grocery store on weekends because it's such a madhouse. And invariably, there are but two cashiers. Fifteen baggers, but two cashiers. Plus, all the teenagers work on the weekends, and I dislike listening to them try to one up one another as I am held hostage in a line that is moving at a snail's pace. I know it's what they do. It's what I did. But I'm old now and it bugs me.

But this week was kind of crazy, due to bad weather, postponed ball games, and car problems. All the staples were depleted so I had very little choice if we wanted to eat.

As I was making my list, Pre-Pubescent One asked,

"Hey Mom, can you get some Lucky Charms?"

He very, very rarely asks for sweets or junk food. He's long and lean, without an ounce of fat on him. So, when he makes a request, I usually don't mind granting it. I added Lucky Charms to my list.

Then Diminutive One chimed in,

"Could you get some Toaster Strudel and Poptarts? And some of those chocolate chip muffins too."

Now, Dimiuntive One...he has a sweet tooth a mile wide. He is contstnatly on the prowl for junk. When he was a toddler, he had a secret stash. If I refused him a snack, which, given the frequency of his requests, was a pretty regular occurance, he would turn up only moments later, munching away on some sugary morsel.

We had figured out pretty quickly that he was a sugar fiend, and had the cabinets locked up tighter than Fort Knox. So I could not for the life of me figure out how he was getting stuff. One day, purely by chance, I discovered his little treasure trove behind one of the recliners.

It's a daily battle to keep his sugar intake at a minimum and to get some organic matter into him.

So I replied, sarcastically,

"How about if I just inject the sugar directly into your veins?"

He looked at me speculatively for a moment and then said,

"Would that be faster?"

11 Comments:

  • At 4:24 PM, Blogger jen said…

    oh yes. i love that. the taking it entirely literal.

    yesterday i said "we can't do that or we might get kicked out" and M says "i don't like it when people kick me"

     
  • At 4:32 PM, Blogger flutter said…

    looks like someone inherited your smartass gene :)

     
  • At 4:58 PM, Blogger Angela said…

    Nina is just like this too...a short little sugar troll with a very smart mouth, when she wants one. Laura is the opposite. Hmmm....

     
  • At 6:32 PM, Blogger Mitzi Green said…

    i like the way that boy thinks. hell, yeah, inject me with it--that way i can eliminate the tedious chores of chewing and unwrapping and just sit back and enjoy the high...

     
  • At 7:13 PM, Blogger Mamma said…

    I love that completely honest response age.

     
  • At 9:41 PM, Blogger Mac and Cheese said…

    Sadly, he sounds like me.

     
  • At 9:43 PM, Blogger Traceytreasure said…

    Maybe your son wanted some Lucky Charms for St. Patrick's Day! I want some too! I wish they were healthy!

     
  • At 11:14 PM, Blogger anne said…

    Ok, I'm wrapping up my blog reading for the night as I just got a Pop-Tart craving.

     
  • At 9:15 AM, Blogger Sensitiva McFeelingsly said…

    Priceless. :)

    Kids are amazing at achieving what they want. I used to beg for bedtime snacks consisting purely of crap and when I was denied, I would 007 myself downstairs in secret and steal cookies - I'm sure my Mom knew, but I felt like a rockstar.

     
  • At 9:49 AM, Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said…

    Sounds about right to me. If I could I'd have a sugar IV and a caffeine IV.

     
  • At 3:34 PM, Blogger Amy Y said…

    Hee hee :)

     

Post a Comment

<< Home