Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Saturday, March 29, 2008


"Do you know what you want? I do. What I really want is my foundation to match my skin."


Not world peace?

An end to poverty, homelessness and hunger?

A truly inspiring presidential candidate?

A health care system that works?

Education reform?

Freedom from tyranny, opression and penis enlargement spam?

Admittedly, I love a good foundation as much as the next make-up whore. I'm ghostly white, but strangely sallow skinned, and you wouldn't believe how difficult it can be to find a good match. I'm fully stocked should Kabuki ever emerge as a trend.

And listen, if I had a face like that, I might be tempted by the opportunity to pander to the insecurities of women everywhere and collect a squillion dollar paycheck in the process.

So...perhaps I'm being unfair. The life of a celebrity draws few parallels to my own. I can't pretend to know what it's like to be breathtakingly beautiful, or to live with the knowledge that my face is my fortune. I can't understand what it's like to fear the ravages of time more than the folly of man. So I honestly can't speak from experience.

And yet?

I think I migth have gone a different direction with that.

Because even as an average Jane, in an anonymous American suburb, I'm aware of the fact that everything I do, every belief I espouse, and every word I utter as a woman, speaks with an eloquence that is far reaching.

In the words of Cameron Thayer from the movie "Crash"

"You embarass me. You embarass yourself."

I know, I know...lighten up B.A., it's just a commercial, and she's just an actress. It's not like the Pope is suddenly endorsing S&M.

But it still bugs me.

Because in a very powerful way, the manner in which we, as a nation, a people, and a gender are represented in the media, becomes a snapshot for the world to hold up, examine, and judge.

Shit. If the rest of the world gets Vh1, we're sunk.


  • At 9:12 PM, Blogger All Things BD said…

    And yet, if she were to speak on any one of those worthy topics, all manner of people would tell her to shut up and stick to acting and being pretty. Just ask the Dixie Chicks.

    Sometimes we suck.

  • At 9:27 PM, Blogger Alison said…

    What scares me is that she's pregnant. Because you know that kind of thinking is really going to help her be a great mother. Never mind all the social problems, at least my skin looks great!

    *insert eye roll here*

  • At 9:38 PM, Blogger Crazed Nitwit said…

    If my face were my fortune I'd be seriously homeless and hungry.

  • At 9:44 PM, Blogger flutter said…

    Real issues don't make for good foundation commercials. mmmkay?

    All I want is a giant cheeseburger. Fer real.

  • At 10:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Fortunately, there are celebs worth calling role models such as Reese Witherspoon and Drew Barrymore, albeit not as good looking, who use their power and influence for the greater good. They're not all shallow and mindless.

  • At 11:10 PM, Blogger Middle Girl said…

    Is it bad that I needed a few minutes to wonder who the heck she is/said/did/done? Ah well..back to not watching.

  • At 7:33 AM, Blogger foop said…

    Amen, BA. Amen.

    I once read an interview with Sarah Jessica Parker (to whom I usually give some credit for having a brain) in which she said something along the lines of, "I can't imagine going out of the house without perfume. To me it would be shocking!".

    I smell like Play-Doh, does that count?

    Love yer blog and I rilly, rilly love the Zappa quote.

  • At 9:28 AM, Blogger Unknown said…

    Completely see your point, but still giggling over the thought of the Pope endorsing S&M.

  • At 10:11 AM, Blogger Girlplustwo said…

    you are so not being unfair.

  • At 11:44 AM, Blogger mamatulip said…

    Testify, BA.

  • At 3:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Under no circumstances should you lighten up. Not one iota. Please.

  • At 6:23 PM, Blogger Shelley Jaffe said…

    I agree with your 2nd to last paragraph - the media portrayal of what's important and valued is, sadly, pretty shameful.

    But, the older I get, the more I realize that these perceived stupid ass hats are essentially people first, and spokespeople second. They make bad choices, they say idiotic things, , they pimp themselves out to things they don't necessarily believe in to pay their bills.

    Is she really this vacuous? I don't know. I do know that in an ideal world, all celebrities would honor their responsibility and privelege to use their profile for good and meaningful causes.

  • At 9:21 PM, Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said…

    The Pope endorsing S&M. Now that's something I'd like to see.

  • At 3:57 AM, Blogger Unmana said…

    hey, we do get VH1!

  • At 8:35 AM, Blogger JCK said…

    The pope and S&M, now THAT is worth imagining...

  • At 10:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Go take a look at these celebrities without their makeup and wardrobes - not so special.

    Go take a look at the celebrities whose plastic surgeons eagerly took their money and disfigured them.

    It bugs me too - cause this generation is so tuned in to television and the internet that they have a distorted view of reality and whats really important. It makes our job so much harder to raise our children to be confident and individual thinking adults.

  • At 10:32 AM, Blogger the mad momma said…

    err... yeah. we do get VH1. i know its a bad thing.. but we're not watching. promise!

    on the other hand... i really really do want foundation that matches :p

  • At 10:59 AM, Blogger anne said…

    Ack! My comment didn't post!

    Ok, trying again.

    Here, here.

    There is an ad that some deck company runs in This Old House Magazine. Over the piture of a deck party, the ad copy reads something like "Burgers on the grill. Cold Margaritas. The important things in life."

    I HATE this ad. It seems so shallow. And makes me never want to have a deck.

  • At 1:05 PM, Blogger Mitzi Green said…

    but i DO want my foundation to match my face. and either i don't know what color i am or i am some color not on the charts of normalcy, but that seems like mission impossible. which could be why this commercial went right over my head the 5,007 times i've seen it so far.

    but see, i have so much shit on my platter right now, i can't be bothered to worry about global issues that actually matter. if i don't stick to superficial things like makeup, i may just lose my mind altogether.

  • At 1:16 PM, Blogger Sensitiva McFeelingsly said…

    I was totally reminded of Bette Midler in "Beaches" (and trust me, I am very embarassed that a movie like Beaches is in my quotation repitoire) singing:

    "Your face is your fortune, like some wise man spoke. My face is my fortune. That's why I'm totally BROKE!"

    Or something like that. :)

    I think it is very sad that she got paid as much money for that commercial as I'm assuming she did, but she didn't write it. Let's all get mad at ZenithOptimedia (their advertising agency) instead. They're the dopes that came up with that idiocy.

  • At 1:58 PM, Blogger Amy Y said…

    I don't think you're overreacting... I think celebrity comes with some responsibilities... as well as some down falls (like paparazzi). She is in a position where little girls look up to her. She gets paid an exhorbitant amount of money to do much more than keep her body in shape and talk occasionally, while being filmed. It seems the least she could do (and the rest of them!) is give back to the community a bit, because if it weren't for her audience, she wouldn't be paid the big bucks.

  • At 5:37 PM, Blogger said…

    Sigh... and yet.... if they were to offer me the amount of money that I'm sure they gave her for less than a day's work? I'd totally say it. Yep. I'm a sell-out, through and through when it comes to truly easy money. At least, as long as it's not for skanky stuff. And THEN? Then I'd have money to help other people...


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