Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Watching HGTV is Hazardous

Our house is ugly. All of it.

For years we've done only what we had to do, and neglected the cosmetic, because we are a single income family with two children and we kind of like eating.

But I am thoroughly sick of my ugly house. I can't look at this floral wallpaper another damn day. When one enters our home, one is assaulted by no less than three different floral wallpaper patterns.

The foyer features cream colored wall paper with coral, blue, and green flowers with some twiney viney stuff. At one time, the bottom of the walls was painted a bright coral. We found this out recently when we did some patching and sanding in preparation for painting.

The kitchen is completely covered in dusty blue wallpaper with small peach colored flowers. I suspect that at one time, it was accessorized with geese. Or ducks. Or, whatever species of fowl was stylish in the 80's.

The dining room is papered in a green damask print on the bottom, and a very, very loud, ribbony, floral bouquet print in shades of green, rose, and blue on top.

All of these rooms adjoin one another.

You are, at this moment, envisioning the splendour, aren't you?

Also, I can deal with the blanket on the window in our master bedroom no longer. It's been there for TWELVE YEARS.

What? I just didn't see the sense of spending money on window treatments until we redecorated the room to our taste.

So anyway, we recently redecorated Pubescent One's room and it turned out pretty darned nice, and was not nearly as painful or expensive as we had thought.

We are encouraged. And we've decided to tackle the rest of the house, one room at a time. As a result, I have been viewing a glut of home improvement shows. Mentally, I've spent about five squillion dollars in the last three weeks.

But we have to be real.

Recently I ran accross a comforter set that I liked for THIRTY DOLLARS. Hello? That's like, better than I could do at Big Lots.

Fortuitously, it has all the colors I love, AND will match the ludicrously expensive green carrera marble lamps we bought when we were first married and Husband was working for Haverty's furniture and now can't get rid of because we could never get anything else that nice for what we paid for them and will probably have until we die.


I know it's not everybody's taste. When I showed it to a friend she said, diplomatically..."It's....certainly....colorful."

Yes, it's true. No tans, no beiges, none of that loathesome plummy, muddy, taupey color everyone seems to be painting everything lately...for me.

I. Need. COLOR.

The walls will be a deep, rich, terracotta/pumpkin-y color. And I found some sheets that are that EXACT color at Wal-Mart for $30. That's not too terribly bad for king sized sheets.

So now I'm thinking ahead to the the attached bath. It's in horrible, horrible condition. It's papered with a pink, white and green striped wallpaper and coordinating floral border. It's curling up around the tub and shower, and experimental peeling has illustrated that it was apparently, put up over bare drywall. Lovely.

The floor is white linoleum with barfy pink flowers. The sinks, vanity and fixtures are all very 1984. Apparently, composite wood products were very chic in 1984.

We can't afford a complete renovation and wouldn't put that kind of money into this house if we could. So I'm picking and choosing strategic ways to upgrade economically.

The floor? Has to go. The wallpaper too, obviously. Some updated lighting will help. I'll work around the vanity and the ugly fixtures.

Here's my dilemma: I hate linoleum. We can't afford marble or stone. Tile is too difficult to install ourselves and I don't dig cleaning grout.

So I've been puzzling over what to do about the floor.

Last night I watched "Designed to Sell" in which they update a house to effect a quick sale. They have a budget of $2,000. Usually, they focus on kitchens and bathrooms.

Last night's episode actually took place in Atlanta and amazingly, the bathroom was even more hideous and more outdated than mine! I was amazed at what they did with $2,000. They made the outdated bathroom look like something out of House and Garden.

What really caught my attention were these gorgeous leather tiles, as well as the installation. They are magnetic! So if one gets damaged, you simply lift it up and replace it. The sheet metal that they adhere to can be laid over an existing floor. WOW. What an innovative and beautiful product. It's EXACTLY what I've been looking for.

I bet they cost a fucking fortune.

Damn you Lisa LaPorta.

I don't know how to quit you.


  • At 8:43 AM, Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said…

    I just hate wallpaper---our entryway had pink and white striped paper when we first moved into this house. My kitchen is covered in wallpaper. Paint is an easy, inexpensive fix.

    I don't love vinyl flooring, but we did do a sheet of it in the laundry room and it looks really nice----some of the styles are pretty cool and much less expensive than tile.

    In some cases, just replacing hardware (cabinet knobs) and a coat of paint will make a huge difference. I think it was Domino (although I can't find the issue) that renovated bathrooms really inexpensively and even showed how to make an all-pink bathroom look cool without ripping out the tile and toilet, sink, tub.

  • At 8:45 AM, Blogger Terri said…

    Go for the color, absolutely! I love the look of the room in the above picture.

    We recently put down a new floor in an upstairs guest bathroom. It is a vinyl tile that you peel and stick then grout just like regular tile. Ok, I know that's two things you didn't want, but it really does look great, AND it didn't cost a fortune.

  • At 9:24 AM, Blogger Bea said…

    I hate all those greeney-beige colours too. I have to think this craze for neutrals is going to pass in a year or two ... everybody will be too bored to stick with it. (That's what I hope, at least. I put in my colour selections yesterday, going with the theory that it's better to pick the colours I love and risk that they'll be too much than to go safe and then always wonder.)

  • At 12:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    The pros dont suggest putting the leather tiles on a bathroom or kitchen floor. Putting some scatter rugs might cover a good part of the linoleum.

    Terri - keep an eye out for those tiles. The adhesive on peel and stick does not hold up well to moisture and you may find them lifting.

    I agree w/FOM about changing out hardware - putting up some new towel racks, shelves and adding some small prints on the wall, scented soaps in nice dishes, new shower curtain... things like that.

    Good Luck!

  • At 1:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Good for you! Enjoy the color, and be sure to post before and after pics (pleease???). As for the bathroom, check out what's available in vinyl flooring these days; there are some that are really very pretty.

  • At 1:21 PM, Blogger Middle Girl said…

    I like color too, though after too many years here, I have yet to apply any to of my obscenely white walls. Sonmeday, hopefully soon. That green in the pic, appeals greatly. The bed set is a tad busy for my taste, but I like the colors within.

    My biggest bathroom issues are that 1. it's teeny tiny and 2. the numb-skull previous owner put up a bath surround cut to cover the window (& there is no vent). I want the window back, but I fear that same also needs to be replaced. Ah well, again, someday, hopefully soon.

    Much luck with your mini-projects. They sound like a great adventure.

  • At 5:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Engineered wood flooring. It installs like laminate flooring, but actually has a thin veneer of wood as opposed to a "picture" of wood on the surface. It's much cheaper than actual plank wood flooring and if you're up to the task can be a DIY instalation. I suggest driving to Dalton to save even more. You could probably get a deal on something they have in stock.

    BTW, the woman who lived in our house before us had an apparent stenciling disorder and a passion for all things floral and fugly. It'll probably be another three years before I finally finish painting over the remnants of her occupation.

  • At 5:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Whoops. The kind of floor I just suggested is really not suitable for bathrooms, but great for everywhere else. Sorry about that.

  • At 6:20 PM, Blogger jean said…

    Wow, I love that room. It is so colorful with out being garish. And I went to the Pampa Tiles site and now I want them. I could see them in every room but I would use them on the walls and not the floors. They are too pretty to walk on them.

  • At 6:52 PM, Blogger flutter said…

    *shakes fist*

  • At 8:46 PM, Blogger Woman in a Window said…

    I love the room in the photo. Colour is my friend. We live in "The Big Red House" for f's sakes. When we moved in and painted what used to be a light yellow house it was fun on a Friday night for the neighbours to drive the block really slowly to see what the new dumb f's were up to. Go for it! Colour 'em blind!

  • At 8:58 PM, Blogger Sarah said…

    hgtv is an addiction of mine, too. but i always feel depressed after watching it.

    so much i want to do with my house. so little time, er, money.

  • At 1:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    My significant other once renovated a house with four bathrooms and put stone flooring tiles in every one of them. When it came to the laundry room he was tired of laying tile so he had a stone-looking vinyl installed. Nobody ever noticed the difference. Vinyls have really improved in the last few years.

    But I have to say, a heated tile floor is the bomb in the winter time, and well worth the extra expense.

  • At 5:09 PM, Blogger preTzel said…

    Check out Menards if you have one near you. They have "snap" tiles and it's REAL tiles that snap together and then you put the grout in. I found them to be fairly decently priced. Mr. is salivating to buy some but we have the "old" style and he will have to use it first. Here is a link to get you acquainted with it:

  • At 11:26 PM, Blogger Antique Mommy said…

    Love Design to Sell and Lisa LaPorte. The only time I thought she was nuts was when she painted crown molding and fireplace black. Very risky move. Black trim not for resale? Bold. Black trim for resale? Crazy. Kiss of death crazy.

    First girlfriend, get busy and start removing that wallpaper one room at time and go from there. You won't be able to think or envision what you want until it is gone. Second, as far as the ugly floor in the bathroom? That's what they make rugs for. Beyond that there are tone of inexpensive flooring products that would work for you, especially given that it's probably not that large ofa space. There are a million ways to get the high end look you want for very little money. If you are serious, email me.

    And? Totally love the bedspread. Not so big on the big puffy spreads anymore, just because I'm tired of it and it's always too warm in Texas for big puffy beds, but I love the pattern and color very much.

  • At 3:12 PM, Blogger PJ said…

    I love the rich color!!! Who says it has to be to ANYONE else's taste?? Yea! I hear you about the tile...betcha $1699 of the $2000 went to the leather tile!!! Sounds like a great idea though. (There's metal underneath???? How is the metal attached to the floor so the magnets will attach?? Maybe I should research??


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