Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Awake

It's nearly 1 am Monday morning.

Why are you awake? You might be asking.

Isn't the first day of school tomorrow? You may be wondering.

Why yes. Yes it is. And therein lies the problem.

Diminutive One is wide awake, eaten up with anxiety.

Though last year was better than many previous years, we still had our share of problems. You may remember the Christianity survey. Or the Suck My Balls incident.

There was also a fairly serious bully problem that I intended to write about, but never did. I decided to bypass the school and called his mother directly.

That was fun.

Thankfully, the little miscreant starts Middle School this year and he'll get his just desserts the second he sets foot on the Middle School bus. Pecking order can sometimes be a wonderful thing.

Also, Diminutive One started medication last year, which really turned out to be a blessing, but which brought with it some baggage. He's different now, and he knows it.

In short, school for Diminutive One is a place fraught with social perils, opportunities to fail, and enormous potential for embarassment and humiliation. It will never be a place that he looks upon with fondess.

So he's in his bed, tossing and turning. I can hear him worrying from my own bed down the hall. I've done all I can to comfort him. I've assured him that I'm always on his side and that whatever happens this year, we'll tackle it as a team.

But sometimes even Moms can't banish the demons of childhood, not even with the most profound badassery.

So the minutes tick by and I...can only listen as he fights a mighty battle against his own anxiety. But at least, I can be awake worrying with him.

No kid should dread school that much. No kid. Ever.

Some stuff you just can't fix and it really fucking blows.

Update:

And so, I ended up with one large-ish, but still very small ten year old boy and one exceedingly fat and somewhat mangy orange cat in bed with me. Together we danced a ballet of sleeplessness.

The cat is the only one who actually slept, I think. When he wasn't scratching and biting at his elizabethan collar in irrition.

We met his teacher today. She seems like a warm and affectionate person, but Pubescent One tells me that one of his friends had her and she yelled a lot. I know the friend in question and I can't help but think he probably deserved it.

Still, it worries me. Every year I wait with baited breath to see if we hit the teacher jackpot or if we have been saddled with the elementary school version of Adolf Hitler.

She did perceive immediately that Diminutive One was anxious, though he wasn't exhibiting any overt signs. That bodes well, I think. Also, she was the teacher for the gifted program for many years, which means she is used to dealing with kids with unusual learning styles and disorders that might make them a challenge to teach. That means she knows that kids can be brilliant and still struggle.

So I'm cautiously optimistic. But the trend seems to be that every other year Diminutive One gets a really crappy teacher. Last year he had a wonderfully young, enthusiastic and idealistic teacher last year that he adored.

Time will tell. And so, unfortunately, will my kid.

14 Comments:

  • At 1:37 AM, Blogger Crazed Mom said…

    One of the suckiest things about being a mother~you can't save them from everything.

    Hugs.

     
  • At 4:14 AM, Anonymous mel from freak parade said…

    Oh...my heart is breaking for the both of you. I have been on both sides of that coin. I have stayed up all night, anxiety wreaking havoc with my thoughts....and I often live it as a mom now as well.
    It really does blow. :(

     
  • At 7:16 AM, Blogger Avalon said…

    BA~~~ He knows. He can feel you at his side. It may not completely quell the anxiety, but that steady assurance keeps him from falling completely apart. Trust me. I was that kid many years ago.

     
  • At 7:54 AM, Anonymous Amy Nathan said…

    My fingers are crossed for Diminutive One. And for you.

    Take a nap!!

     
  • At 8:59 AM, Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said…

    I hope that this year will be a good one for D.O!

     
  • At 9:57 AM, Blogger the only daughter said…

    Here's hoping this year bucks the trend. Two in a row, jackpot.


    Peace.

     
  • At 10:51 AM, Anonymous heidig said…

    oh...my heart breaks for him. kids can be so mean! i will keep my fingers crossed that he adores his new teacher and that school is good to him this year.

     
  • At 12:04 PM, Blogger Natalie said…

    happy late birthday! I hope he returns in better spirits than those he left in.

     
  • At 2:16 PM, Blogger Chicky Chicky Baby said…

    No kid should have those kind of feelings. Poor guy.

    I hope everything goes well for him this year!

     
  • At 3:45 PM, Anonymous flybunny said…

    My daughter is right there with DO. She is already dreading school and her arch nemisis that is in class with her again this year. Only time will tell if any maturing has happened over the summer.

    Here's to hoping DO has a fantastic school year!

     
  • At 5:01 PM, Blogger flutter said…

    he will persevere

     
  • At 5:51 PM, Blogger anne said…

    Aw, poor kid. Hopefully just not having the bully to deal with will be a big weight off his shoulders. You are right - no kid should have to feel that bad about school.

     
  • At 8:55 PM, Blogger womaninawindow said…

    Did you have a few words with the teacher? I always want to have coffee with them and give them the back history and for me to want to sit down with someone, well, this is BIG.

    I so love that you "sleep"/lay awake with your boys. You're a good mama.

     
  • At 3:29 PM, Blogger Amy Y said…

    I hope it's going well so far (I'm behind again, as usual).

    It's SO hard to be a mom.

    I'm struggling this week with my baby ~ who is now 5 and starting kindergarten. He just isn't outgoing and quickly adapting like his older brother. He seems smaller to me and somewhat backward. I know he has to go to school ~ it's time and I don't have the patience or know how to home school ~ but it almost seems mean to leave him there, wanting me, awkward and unsure, subjected to all the things that come with being in school. Knowing that his father (who he is so much alike) barely survived school with his self esteem in tact and wanting to help avoid that but not knowing how...

    Yeah. It fucking blows.

     

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