Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Turn 'Em On, Turn 'Em On, Turn On Those Saaaaaaaad Songs

When I was a teenager, I delighted in purposeful despair. What teenaged girl doesn't? Oh, the angst. Oh, the heartbreak. Oh, the misery.

And nothing added fuel to the fire of my hormonally imposed wretchedness, than the perfect sad song, which, of course, I collected with a zeal previously reserved for unicorns and rainbows.

Yes, the ubiquitous mix tape. I remember holding a microphone (with a cord, no less)to the tape deck to create veritable masterpieces of melancholia. I still have some of them, but sadly, no longer the means to play them.

I still love a good sad song.

Though certainly, like any woman, I am subject to periodic bouts of dejection, I wouldn't say that by nature, I am a doleful person. Quite the contrary, in fact. I think that generally, I'm very positive and upbeat.

And yet...there is something about that funk...that woeful, whimsical, wistful longing, that sorrowful, searching, sublimation....that is undeniably appealing.

That's why we watch movies like "Terms of Endearment" and "The Notebook".

So anyway, recently, I ran across this song. And I can't get it out of my head. I'm not depressed, I swear. The opposite is true, in fact. Some personal issues have been resolved and I'm feeling more positive about things than I have in a long time.

But this song has grabbed me and pulled me in.

Maybe because it's been a very long time since I indulged that side of myself. As a teenaged girl, I did so with a dedication and a determination that was truly profound. As an adult, I tend to bury those feelings in favor of more productive mental and emotional pursuits. I just don't have time to be willfully weepy.

I'm not suicidal in the slightest. In fact, I harbor a profound abhorrence of death. And yet, this line...

"I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had"

....just strikes me as deliciously dark.

I'm going to create a modern day version of the mix tape, for just this sort of music. I'm going to create a "Melancholia" playlist on my iPod. I've already got a good start, but I know that you all can help me create a real work of art.

What are your favorite sad songs?

Later I will share my list here. Because who can resist an invitation to despair?

Come hither and share, blogging bretheren.


  • At 2:45 PM, Blogger Maureen Fitzgerald said…

    I had never seen that video before - very cool. The entire soundtrack of "Dying Young" (can you get more depressing than that title?) is a favorite of mine.

  • At 3:11 PM, Blogger All Things BD said…

    Hands down my favorite sad song is Beth Nielsen Chapman's "Sand and Water". Heard it first during an episode of ER when a couple's baby was born at 22 weeks and lived for 8 hours and they took the baby outside and had it baptized while the music played. Kills me every time I listen to it.

  • At 4:03 PM, Blogger NatzG said… is my therapy, even now as a 30 something chickie :-)

    That cover is a particulary poignant version, too.

    Nothing like a sad song to bring on the tears and let it all out, especially in the car with the windows up and the music all the way up (safely pulled over to the side of the road, of course). It so totally fills me and flows through me. Feels wonderful afterward. I tend to know when I've sufficiently worked through a particular issue, when it's associated song no longer brings me to tears. Songs are kind of like a barometer of my inner life. And, I also get messages through songs (not saying they're from anywhere else other than from inside, but I seem to get clarity and direction from particular words and phrases that stand out).

    Songs to add to your list...? It's so completely personal and only relevant at specific times in my life, I couldn't hope to recommend any to you.

    Good luck!

  • At 4:15 PM, Blogger Ms. Skywalker said…

    Oh God! I wish I could send you my playlists, because I have great ones. For whatever reason, my favorite sob song is "What A Good Boy" by the Barenaked Ladies.

    Just gets me every.single.time.

  • At 5:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    This was my anthem when I was a junior in high school. I wrote the lyrics on my folders. It was originally by Tears for Fears. I'm a lot less dark now....I think. You could probably use a lot from that album alone. It's called "The Hurting". The title track is good, too.

    Try Sia's "Breathe Me" (It was the song they used for the finale of "Six Feet Under") She's Colin Hay's neice (Men at Work). I'm a storehouse of random music trivia.

    I know I have lots more, but unfortunatley, I'm one of those people who walks into a music store and completely forgets every thing I ever wanted.

  • At 7:22 PM, Blogger mamatulip said…

    God, I am drawing a total blank. I've had your blog open for like, twenty minutes trying to think of the songs I used to play in my room when I was a teenager, in the dark, wearing black, writing poetry on black construction paper, in black ink.

    I know there's a few Cure songs that used to make me cry - wait...Apart. That song used to make me cry. Eleanor Rigby by the Beatles has always come off as a very morbid song to me, too.

  • At 8:02 PM, Blogger KT said…

    BNL: Call and Answer, What a Good Boy, Break Your Heart, Home, I live with it everyday,

    Chantal Kreviazuk: Surrounded

    Sarah Mclachlan: I Will Remember You, Hold On, Fallen, Stupid,

    Man, I'm going to have to break out my ipod. It's a little dusty.

  • At 8:08 PM, Blogger Pgoodness said…

    I Think It's Going to Rain Today - Bette Midler (Beaches)

    When She Loved Me - Sarah McLachlan
    (Toy Story2)

    As I'm Leaving - David Gray (Ladder 49)

    Reflection-Adagio (Orch. version) - Robbie Robertson (Ladder 49)

    Because You Loved Me - Celine Dion

    Hubs pipes in with: One More Try - George Michael

  • At 8:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Love Hurts -Nazareth
    Everybody Hurts -REM
    Dust in the Wind -Kansas
    Stealing Cinderella -Chuck Wicks
    You're Gonna Miss This -Trace Adkins
    Who You'd Be Today -Kenny Chesney
    Live Like you Were Dying -Tim McGraw
    Sad Eyes -Robert John

  • At 8:32 PM, Blogger Middle Girl said…

    I Can't Make You Love Me Bonnie Raitt.

    I'm kinda brain dead at the moment, that's the only one coming to mind.

  • At 8:49 PM, Blogger Unknown said…

    oh gosh I loved that song the minute I heard it!! i think it was also on the soundtrack to Donnie Darko.

    Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day

  • At 8:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    And So It Goes by Billy Joel

    DH made me a mix tape when we were dating. I then made him a tape, and the B side was called "Sad Songs in Minor Keys"

    I remember that ER episode, too. So sad.

  • At 9:37 PM, Blogger Bea said…

    I have two compilation CDs of melancholy songs: not all-out anguish, but gentle melancholy. BNL features on both ("What a Good Boy" and "Call and Answer"). Also The Cure. The song that inspired the whole thing was called "Brick." I can't remember who the group was, but that's the perfect melancholy song - the chorus goes "She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly..."

  • At 11:02 PM, Blogger flutter said…

    Enjoy the Silence- Depeche Mode

    "words like violence, break the silence, come crashing in, into my little world..."

  • At 11:40 PM, Blogger susan said…

    Sarah McLachlan--Angel

    The Cure--Pictures of You

    Social Distortion--Ball and Chain "Spent all my money, I've been drinkin' since half past noon" Not a dark song per se, but the line "Born to lose, destined to fail" always gets me

    INXS--Never Tear Us Apart

  • At 8:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Sugarland - Stay. Watch the video!

  • At 9:39 AM, Blogger Kim said…

    Thank you - I think I heard this in a CSI episode and loved it right away.

  • At 11:50 AM, Blogger Avalon said…

    Robbie Robertson -- Broken Arrow

    Thomas Dolby -- Europa and The Pirate Twins

    Genesis - The Carpet Crawlers

    George Harrison -- Give Me Love

    k.d. lang -- Constant Craving

    Roxy Music -- To Turn You On

    Stone Temple Pilots -- Atlanta

    Ultravox -- Vienna

    David Bowie -- Life On Mars

    George Michael -- Praying For Time

    Can you tell I'm a little dark by nature? I could go on for days...

  • At 12:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Samuel Barber's Adagio for Strings (think soundtrack of Platoon).

    Thank you for continuing to blog!

    Mary in Texas

  • At 1:26 PM, Blogger Foofa said…

    Bea- Brick is by Ben Folds Five and on "Forever and Ever Amen". It's a fantastic song, one I have listened to on repeat many times.

    Tori Amos was the inspiration for my angst as a teenager particularly the song "Putting The Damage On" "Boys For Pele". Really though, that album and Little Earthquakes got me through my high school career.

  • At 4:18 PM, Blogger ww.butterscotch said…

    Eric Clapton- Tears in Heaven

    Pink Floyd- Wish You Were Here

    Stevie Ray Vaughn- The Sky is Crying

    and you can't have sad music without some blues...

    Muddy Waters- Train Fare Home

  • At 5:46 PM, Blogger Shelley Jaffe said…

    Glad to have you off hiatus. I hope those 7 days were restful and full of reflection.

    It would appear so - you're back to your amazing writing!

    My sad song? "100 Years" for 5 For Fighting. The part about being 15 slays me because of my boys, the part about being 99 for a moment slays me because it reminds me of my mom. Always good for a boo-hoo-fest.

  • At 5:48 PM, Blogger Shelley Jaffe said…

    Oh, and "Song for Bernadette" by Jennifer Warren, too.

  • At 11:56 PM, Blogger Stefanie said…

    Sugarland- Stay
    Kenny Chesney- Better as a Memory
    Jann Arden- Insensitive
    Counting Crows- Colorblind
    When in Rome- The Promise

  • At 11:56 PM, Blogger Stefanie said…

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • At 9:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Okay, I'm bringing in the country tunes...

    The Dance- Garth Brooks

    That's My Job - Conway Twitty (I just looked this one up to get the exact title and just reading the lyrics made me cry)

    And some obscure ones (I'm weird I know)

    I'm in Love With Your Ghost- Indigo Girls

    Send in the Clowns from A Little Night Music (I think)

  • At 2:07 PM, Blogger (In)Sanity Gal said…

    Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley

    If I ever feel that need to cry, it's always there for me.

  • At 3:55 PM, Blogger Major Bedhead said…

    Oooh, (in)sanity gal beat me to Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah. That song makes me weep.

    Duran Duran - Ordinary World
    Tori Amos - Me And A Gun
    Bruce Springsteen - Streets Of Philadelphia or The River
    Diana Krall - Cry Me A River
    Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here
    Evanescence - My Immortal
    REM - Nightswimming
    Joni Mitchell - Both Sides Now
    Our Lady Peace - Thief

    I could go on, but I have therapy tonight and I don't want her to think I'm suicidal....

  • At 5:49 PM, Blogger Amy Y said…

    I love that song! I heard it on Donnie Darko (have you seen that movie?)...
    Here's another good one:
    9 Crimes by Damien Rice

  • At 8:02 PM, Blogger Tootsie said…

    "Love is blindness" by U2 off the Actung Baby album. I've always thought that song would be great on a movie soundtrack for a sad sex scene.

  • At 9:13 PM, Blogger anne said…

    Well, I can take you down a very deep, dark tunnel if you really want to go.

    In the mean time, some more mellow yet sad-ish tunes...

    Poor Man's House - Patty Griffen
    Unlock the Door; Suit and Tie - Frog Holler (The lead singer's voice will melt your knees. I hesitate to tell people about them because I like thinking they are my little secret.)
    Bramble Rose - Tift Merritt
    The Highway Kind - Lyle Lovett's version of the Townes Van Zandt song (will literally make your heart ache)

  • At 1:56 PM, Blogger Sensitiva McFeelingsly said…

    Oy! I listened to nothing but sad music as a teenager, so I've got TONS. Here are a couple:

    "Ghost" - Indigo Girls

    "Silent All These Years" and "Winter" - Tori Amos

    "A Little Fall of Rain" - Les Miserables (pretty much this entire musical is a sob-fest. I was absolutely inconsolable when I saw it for the first time)

    And the award for saddest song of all time: "My Beloved Wife" - Natalie Merchant.


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