Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Betrayed

Yannow, most of the time, I feel pretty young and spry. I don't FEEL 39, and I don't think I look 39. That may be more wishful thinking than anything else, but I think I'm weathering pretty well.

My breasts were never very large, so although I've nursed two children, they're still looking okay. Certainly they're not as perky as they once were, but my nipples still point straight ahead. That's something.

I have no gray hair. My father is 65 and has only recently begun to gray. My grandfather was nearly 90 when he passed away two years ago, and still had more brown than gray. For that I can forgive him the dark circles.

I have an...ample bottom. I've always thought it was too large, even when I was a size 2. Happily, though it's a little more cottage cheesy than I would like, it has stayed put instead of melting down the backs of my thighs.

The chin hairs are annoying, but I can mow, wax or pluck those suckers. The fine lines around my eyes are becoming more noticeable, a little make-up can usually camoflage them to my satisfaction.

So I'm able to deny the fact that I am 10 months away from 40 most of the time.

Occasionally though, I get a little reminder that the old bod is experiencing some wear and tear. It may be the fact that it takes me 3 days to recover when I overindulge. Or that I can't eat spicy foods too close to bedtime anymore, lest I awake thinking I'm having a heart attack. Or even the fact that my uterus makes a valiant attempt to exsanguinate me once a month.

And such was the case yesterday when I put my back out merely walking down the hall.

I got up from the office chair, took about 4 steps and felt something leggo deep in my spinal column. I swear, I heard a SPROING!!!! sound. An excruciating pain shot through me, severe enough to make me cry out. I staggered, and nearly fell. I paused for a moment, asessing my situation, and found that I could not straighten up.

For the last 30 hours or so, I have been completely supine. I can't walk and I can't tolerate any position that compresses my spine even a little. I haven't slept and my head aches from lying down so long.

Ice and Advil seem to be doing little. I have to just wait. Though it's better today than it was yesterday, I'm still not remotely functional.

Ten years ago, I would not have suffered such an injury. Ten years ago, I could suffer through anything and still care for my small children through sheer indomitable will and mind over matter.

Now? I've turned into a big wuss. I no longer suffer through migraines and head colds and back injuries with cheerful determination. Hell no. I take to my bed and whine.

And my whining has now extended to you, my dear readers, who came here today, no doubt expecting something a little more interesting and palatable than one aging Mom type having a big ole pity party for herself.

Sorry.

I guess that's yet another indication that I am growing old; the need to catalog my physical complaints for anyone who will listen.

I feel betrayed by my own body. It once seemed so strong! It grew, birthed and nourished children.

And now? It's seems little more than an aching heap of aging flesh.

Ah well, I suppose that's just my injury talking. Being out of commission makes me grumpy. Reminders of my mortality make me grumpy.

I'll try to do something uplifting tomorrow.

16 Comments:

  • At 10:26 PM, Blogger flutter said…

    Babe, I am only 33 and yet I know this feeling. Intimately

     
  • At 10:40 PM, Blogger Mac and Cheese said…

    Oy.

     
  • At 11:48 PM, Blogger SUEB0B said…

    Back pain SUCKS. It always makes me feel so old to walk around all stiff and crablike.

     
  • At 11:52 PM, OpenID wheelsonthebus said…

    I'm so sorry, babe.

     
  • At 1:45 AM, Blogger jess said…

    Yeah, I'm with Flutter. I'm 34 and haven't even started having kids yet but I still know exactly what you're talking about. I hope the back gets better soon!

     
  • At 7:09 AM, Blogger K said…

    Back pain is awful. It would make anyone grumpy.

    Good luck and I hope you recover quickly.

     
  • At 11:14 AM, Blogger Kim said…

    Almost 40 and no grey? :P I may have to hate you.

    But get better soon, then I can hate you :)

     
  • At 1:15 PM, Anonymous OmegaMom said…

    Ugh, back pain is horrid! You rest up, but don't rest up too long; apparently after a couple of days of bed rest, you're supposed to suck it up and get moving to help it heal.

     
  • At 4:08 PM, Blogger IIDLYYCKMA said…

    I winced as I read your post. Backpain is the worst. I hope you don't let it go, that's how all that back crap begins.

    I think I was insulted the worst when I found a gray hair in my eyebrow, my arm pit, and finally along my bikini line.

    That's when I felt betrayed.

    Massage, ice, heat, advil, and a doctor if things don't get better.

    Jacuzzi might help.

     
  • At 7:35 PM, Anonymous Baroness von B said…

    I feel betrayed by your body, too. Hurry up and get better, already!

    I once threw my back out while sitting at the table eating cereal. It just happens sometimes. I don't think it's an age thing - it's just a back thing.

    And as for the angst I seem to be hearing about 40, I wouldn't go back there for all the world. I'm 47, and looking extremely forward to 50! It's just a number; really!
    I would tell you at this point that you're only as old as you feel, but I don't think that this will be very effective right now...

     
  • At 1:55 PM, Anonymous gururkarm (@karma_musings) said…

    Oh honey, you're scarin' me here. I'm way older than 39 - I only WISH I felt as good now as I did at 39 (with a then-3 year-old and 2 yrs before my last-born...)

    My dear mom used to love to say "It's hell getting old" - I grant you full permission to use of the phrase ;-)

     
  • At 7:01 PM, Blogger Amy Y said…

    That sucks!! Ugh.
    Have you tried a heating pad?
    I have some leftover drugs from my c~section I can send you that start with a P and ends with a cet... ;)

     
  • At 12:25 AM, Blogger jen said…

    i know. makes it harder to embrace, doesn't it.

     
  • At 3:01 AM, Blogger Crazed Mom said…

    Welcome to my world. I'm sorry you're injured. I hope you heal quickly. A smart mom might just use this expereince to get her sons to do her bidding.

     
  • At 11:48 PM, Blogger momof8 said…

    When you are doing something "uplifting" make sure it's not too heavy. Heh heh. Take care of yourself!

     
  • At 12:12 AM, Blogger Angela said…

    Get feeling better

     

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