Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Meaningless Jocularity

We need to lighten things up around here. The topics have a been a little heavy of late. I like some meat with my potatoes, but too much gives me indigestion, yannow what I mean?

So I was thinking, last night, as I snipped the stitches from my eldest son's scalp, that things sure have changed from those days fraught with worry when I questioned everything I did as a parent.

I considered myself a pretty confident parent; not at all a nervous nellie. And yet, I found myself agonizing over things that now seem pretty silly.

I still question, of course. But now those questions are more abstract, and tend to deal with issues of a more philosophical, rather than procedural nature. I've been thinking a lot about how my parenting has changed now that my boys are older.

I guess the biggest change in my parenting is that I've relaxed a lot. I can cut myself some slack now and then without feeling as though I've compromised my worth as a mother. I understand that good enough is still good.

So...you know you've been in the trenches a long time when:


  • 1. You are willing to perform simple medical procedures on your child to save a copay. Who really needs all the sterile draping anyway?

  • 2. Booger art no longer surprises nor disgusts you.


  • 3.Turning underwear inside out is a perfectly acceptable solution to a laundry crisis.


  • 4. Speaking of which, the word "skidmark" takes on an entirely different meaning.


  • 5. "Matching" takes second place to "whole" when it comes to your children's clothing.


  • 6. You no longer feel compelled to ask "What's that smell?". Ever. For any reason.


  • 7. You no longer feel that your fitness as a mother is in question if you just don't feel like cutting the damn crusts off.


  • 8. Television is no longer a philosophical sticking point.


  • 9. You can't remember the last time you checked the status of the earwax situation.


  • 10. You are perfectly at ease with a "don't ask, don't tell" policy in regard to mysterious stains on bedclothing.


  • 11. You have to issue a "no bodily expulsions at the dinner table" edict.


  • 12. This does not surprise you even a little bit.


  • 13. You accept that there is no such thing as the obvious, and nothing goes without saying, ever.


  • 14. You discover that diplomacy is overrated and that "Because I said so." really is the only reason they need.


  • 15. You expect the unexpected. And you expect it to occur in public.


  • 16. As a result, you find that a human being's capacity for embarassment is a finite thing.


  • 17. You start to wonder if the evils of video media aren't highly overstated.


  • 18. You realize that you are okay with the odds of disaster striking should you choose to lock the bathroom door.


  • 19. You start giving serious consideration to just when the little freeloaders are old enough to start pulling their weight without violating any child labor laws.


  • 20. You become blase about the fact that every time you open your mouth, your mother's voice issues forth.


I'm sure there are more and I'm sure all those of you in the trenches with me have one or two to add as well.

Share with me, make me laugh.

6 Comments:

  • At 9:51 PM, Anonymous Tracy (t-gardens) said…

    ok, I have an 8yo boy.... you, my dear have just given me a glipse of what's to come.... I don't know whether to run or hide!

    Thanks for the heads-up

    (there are so many puns in this comment, but I'm not goin' there!!!)

     
  • At 11:58 PM, Blogger Pgoodness said…

    oh, crap...I've got like 12 of those going on already and mine are 5 & 3!!

    Mine was when I realized that some stuff really DOES NOT matter - like jumping off the couch or making giant messes or bathing every day. And I'm pretty sure my 3 yr old has raised himself. :)

     
  • At 4:02 AM, Blogger IIDLYYCKMA said…

    Oh good God, my son is 8 and I am just laughing myself silly on what's coming down the pike:)

     
  • At 5:25 AM, Anonymous Vic said…

    #19 - as soon as they can walk!

     
  • At 6:06 AM, Anonymous Michelle said…

    Oh, I so sound like my mother. When did that happen?

     
  • At 8:48 AM, Blogger justcurious said…

    I just this morning realized I forgot to be the tooth fairy last night! I told moneyless child that sometimes it takes two nights for her to come if she's got a big route to cover.

     

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