I just don't play the game right, though I did try for a time.
Actually, when I started this blog, I had no idea there was an A list of bloggers. I had no idea there were blogging celebrities. I figured it out pretty quickly though and then I thought..well hell, I can write as well or better than any of them. I could really make this into something.
You know what? Too much damn ass kissing and too much damn work.
I did pretty well for a while. I got to a point where I was consistently getting 40 plus comments on every post.
But I was spending way more time than I should have reading and commenting on blogs and joining groups I really had no interest in, just to boost my traffic.
Worst of all, I was beginning to tailor my content to the whims of my audience; going for the easy laughs and writing superficial feel good crap that really had no substance.
I know that's how authors make it big, whether they're writing novels or blogs. You have to give the people what they want. And I've found that a lot of readers want funny, superficial feel good crap.
But that's when blogging really lost it's lustre for me. I found that the joy had been sucked right out of it.
So I took a little break and came back with a new perspective. And, as I said, I'm over being dazzled by the prospect of fame and fortune. I stopped the relentless rounds of commenting and unjoined groups.
Now I blog for me. And it's good. I've found the joy again.
But that doesn't mean I don't still want to reach people. I do. Isn't that why any artist toils at his craft? To touch and inspire? Though I don't need 87 comments to get satsifaction from what I've written, sometimes, I do wonder if anybody is really listening.
The other day, I got an answer to that question when I received this email:
I am the managing editor of gayagenda.com. I just read your post about "Milk" and as hard as I've become over the years of dealing with inequality, something about your post touched me emotionally.
Thank you for this. Is there anyway I could post an excerpt from your post in the "voices from the blogosphere section of GayAgenda.com with a link back to the original of course?
I strongly feel in order to build a true "community", we need to be the LGBTA, whereas the "A" stands for allies.
Please let me know if I have permission, but either way, thank you!
I found that unbelievably cool.
You just never know who is out there reading.
And I realized that comments, though undeniably gratifying, are not a true indication of whom or how far one's words are reaching or how they might affect someone out there. Good or bad, positive or negative, our words carry weight.
This is one impact I am proud to have made and the impetus for me to stay true to myself as a person, a writer, and a blogger.
I told Mr. Hipps that I would be honored to be featured on their site. I asked if I could have permission to post his email here. But I wanted to do so to share my happiness and maybe in some small way, to inspire other writers.
My intent is not to lead villagers with pitchforks to the castle door.
So please...if your personal views conflict with the content of the site just stay away.
I would like to express my sincere thanks to James, for making me feel like I've made a difference to someone, somewhere.
It's a really cool thing.