Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Monday, March 16, 2009


Husband and I watched MILK this weekend.

Wow. That's some powerful stuff. Sean Penn certainly has come a long way from his Spicoli days.

Gays and lesbians have always been a part of my life.

My mother was a hairdresser. I know it's stereotypical, but hairdressing really did attract a lot of gay men, and still does. My mother often took me to trade shows, where one could see some fairly outrageous behavior for the times. But for me, it was just part of the biz. It didn't seem odd or deviant.

Whether they were regular seeming guys or flaming Queens, they were all nice to me. They told me I had gorgeous hair, luminous eyes, an ass to die for. If not for that pesky little sex thang, I would have happily married a gay man. They're good for a gal's ego.

One of my cousins is a lesbian. My best friend in high school was gay. One of my dearest friends today is a lesbian. One of the best teachers my oldest son ever had is a gay man. My new next door neighbors are an older gay couple. And I've recently met a lesbian family who has touched my heart and earned my undying respect and admiration.

They have never been gay people to me. Just people.

And that's why I sometimes forget that it was and still is a struggle for gays and lesbians.

This movie was a very salient reminder of that. Since time began, people have been giving their lives for freedom; freedom to worship whom they please, freedom from tyranny, freedom from opression and slavery....

Doesn't it strike you as patently absurd that people should have to fight and die for the freedom to love?

Does it hurt you if the man next door wants to live in a loving committed relationship with another man?

Does it hurt you if the woman down the street wants to share her life and raise a family with another woman?

I've heard all the arguments.

If you're some Christian fundamentalist considering leaving a comment to tell me how it is an abomination in God's it. No God I care to worship would put conditions on his love. No God I care to worship would punish his children for loving one another.

If you're some ultra conservative considering leaving a comment to tell me how allowing gays and lesbians to marry is undermining the sanctity of the institution, you can save that too. Heterosexuals have done a fine job of that all by themselves.

If you're some family values zealot who feels compelled to tell me that homosexual couples can't raise healthy, stable, well-rounded children, again, save it. Because I happen to know children who were horribly abused and neglected by their heterosexual parents.

Their adoption by their new Moms was recently finalized.

The older ones are finally beginning to believe that the safety and security of their new home is forever, and the baby will never remember being hungry or cold.

I understand hate. It comes from self-loathing and insecurity. It comes from being taught that love and acceptance is conditional. It comes from being taught to see differences as perversities.

What I don't understand is the need to spread it like a disease.

I don't understand being so threatened by another person's way of life that one loses all sense of humanity. I don't understand the desire to infect others with the malignancy of blind malice.

Well...things are getting better. Slowly.

Thanks to people like Harvey Milk who are willing to risk everything to make life better for others.

Harvey paid the ultimate price.

Hopefully, because of him, and others like him, no more lives will have to be sacrificed for the cause of Gay rights.

On behalf of all the gay and lesbian people in my life...thanks Harvey.


  • At 8:03 AM, Blogger Avalon said…

    Wasn't it an incredible movie? I LOVED it and was both amazed and disheartened to think that we, as a country, haven't made much more progress since then.

  • At 10:26 AM, Blogger Girlplustwo said…

    i love how you speak your mind with such grace, no matter the topic. glad to be over here this am.

  • At 12:02 PM, Blogger Carol said…

    OMG! Best post EVER! I SO want to send it to a "friend" from high school who is an LDS bishop and film producer/.... and who I blame for the passing of California's prop 8.


  • At 12:56 PM, Blogger jess said…

    *sigh* As a Christian, this is an issue that frequently makes me want to scream. The arguments against gay marriage have degenerated to the point where they don't even make sense anymore, yet people will argue them to the grave.

    I can't argue with my conservative friends because their arguments aren't based on logic.

  • At 1:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I am a heterosexual, a Christian, a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, and a friend.

    I wish I could be here in 100 years to see that the divorce rate for homosexuals is nil. That the abused children rate in homosexual settings is nil.

    You are right, some of the most caring and loving people that I have met in my life are gays or lesbians. And do they deserve children just as much as I do? You bet your ass they do, probably more. I know they seem to appreciate it a lot more.

    Thanks for an extremely well written article and for your outspoken take on this issue.

    The world needs more people to speak up about it.


  • At 6:06 PM, Blogger Geri said…

    Thank You!

  • At 6:35 PM, Blogger Middle Girl said…

    Were human, no more. But, certainly no less.

  • At 9:24 PM, Blogger nina said…

    this post unequivocally, absolutely, positively does not need more llamas...

    love you forever,
    love you for always,
    forever and ever my pookie you'll be.

  • At 1:38 AM, Blogger flutter said…

    This movie was phenomenal

  • At 7:01 PM, Blogger Forever In Blue Jeans said…

    can hardly wait to see it... Neener and I missed it when it came through here.

    congrats on the literary nod!!

    well done... and well deserved.


  • At 2:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Posted today on Twitter (by me):
    "Best.Post.Ever: Damn, BA, *when* are we going to lure you here to the dark side? (*cough* - twitter, that is!)"

    Seriously, girl. Your presence is desired there! ;-)

  • At 2:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    oh, ps - I shortened the post URL because you only get 140 characters, yaknow? but it was this one :-)

  • At 5:19 PM, Blogger Amy Y said…

    Some things that are related that make me happy:

    1. We got our first gay couple neighbors last month. I have been craving diversity in my very heterosexual neighborhood and can't wait to get to know these guys more.

    2. My girlfriend was also a surrogate ~ for a gay couple. The first baby was made with one dad's sperm and in August, she's going to get pregnant with a baby made with the other dad's sperm (same egg donor). They are wonderful parents from what I'm able to see from a distance and they make gorgeous babies (which I realize is irrelevant). :)

    3. Some of my best and most favorite friends are gay and I will always stand up for and fight for their rights.

    Thanks for this post!

  • At 12:26 AM, Blogger Kiy said…

    Wow, I've never heard of the movie but I need to find it. Now! Amazing piece, no wonderful those folks want you! You said everything I've always felt. Kudos gal, really really really. One of your best posts EVER!



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