Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

A Sweet Arrangement

I'm on a completely different plane of parenting from many of my readers, although I think my demographic has changed over the years, as the essence of who I am has emerged through my posts.

Diaper days are long behind me. Breast or bottle no longer seems of tantamount importance. And I'm not embarassed over things that I once saw as parenting failures, such as potty training late, or having a binky until age 5.

I have older kids now. I'm not the sage veteran that some of you are, but as of today, I have 14 years under my belt. I think I've learned a thing or two. Mostly what I've learned, is that I still have a lot to learn.

But there is one thing I can tell you with confidence.

ALWAYS, always, always...be your child's strongest advocate. Their greatest champion. Be in their corner. Trust in them when nobody else does. And never be afraid to stand and fight.

Because when it comes right down to it, nobody cares as much as you do. And no other person can infuse them with the kind of confidence that comes from knowing that you believe in them.

It's hard. I won't lie. Fighting puts knots in my stomach and makes me unable to sleep. I second guess myself. I worry. I wrestle with my conscience.

But when it's all said and done, no matter the outcome, I can say, and my child will know, that I did my damndest to make sure they got a fair shake.

I can't really gives details of what I'm embroiled in right now, other than to say...BULLIES suck. It's an ongoing problem for us, because Diminutive One doesn't know how not to be a target. He doesn't now how not to be terribly wounded by the onslaught of unkindess. Blytheness is just not in his nature.

But I'm fighting. And I will keep fighting until I'm satisifed that my son is safe and happy.

I thank my Mom. She showed me how to be fierce.

When the time comes, and it will, for you to be fierce, do it with the knowledge that you are getting something right. We all, as parents, have moments of doubt and insecurity. In truth, it plagues us, wouldn't you say?

But you are never wrong when you champion the one person in the world who looks up to you the most.

Maybe, just maybe, a day will come when you need a champion. And your kid will be there, ready to fight, just like you did for them.

Champions beget champions, I suppose.

It's pretty sweet arrangement.

13 Comments:

  • At 2:28 PM, Blogger ShortyMom said…

    I feel your pain. While my kids don't have some of the same challenges that yours do, my oldest son is just like D.O. He does not know how not to be a target. So we fight and right now we are watching as an emerging fight is lingering on the horizon. I'm rooting on the sidelines for ya!

     
  • At 7:08 PM, Blogger the only daughter said…

    Me too rooting.

     
  • At 7:11 PM, Blogger Amy Sue Nathan said…

    You rock.

     
  • At 8:42 PM, Blogger Six Green Zebras said…

    My favorite quote ever came from a fortune cookie... "Someone is looking up to you. Don't let that person down.". I will be fighting for my guy tomorrow and I wish you luck with yours.

     
  • At 8:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Bullies do suck. I wish your son some peace from them. No matter what your son needs to learn in order to avoid being a target, the other kid who is the bully needs to learn and change more.

     
  • At 11:28 PM, Blogger flutter said…

    you are a good mama

     
  • At 1:11 AM, Blogger IIDLYYCKMA said…

    Things are very different now days then they were when I was a kid. 100 years ago when I was a child harrassment was just something you endured. Maybe if it got really bad your folks would meet with the kid who was bullying you and the parents would talk and you'd hope to God your dad didn't call the other guy's dad a pussy or something worse. And sometimes that helped and sometimes that didn't. I know I always hoped that the fear of the Universe would be put into who was bullying me.

    Now days, all you have to do is breathe harrassment, hostile learning environment, and law suit to any school district and they will bend over backwards to see that bullying isn't happening.

    I am thinking good thoughts for you and yours -- xo

     
  • At 9:36 AM, Anonymous Apryl's Antics said…

    I was traumatized by a bully girl in 7th grade. Every day going to the school bus stop was hell. She terrorized me and my parents only had so much control over it.

    The good news is that one day, this girl had become so brazen and empowered by my fear of her, she showed up at my house. I went inside and told my mom. She told me to go out and stand up for myself because she knew that bully would never leave me alone as long as I was afraid of her. I then asked my mom for a favor: "Please, when she knocks on the door and I open it, stand behind me and promise me you'll never punish me for what I am about to say." She agreed. That bully knocked on my door, I opened it, and unleashed a barrage of the most foul, R-rated, can of verbal whoop ass on this girl you wouldn't think a thirteen year-old would even know--with my mom standing right there. That girl never bothered me again. After all, someone who could say that kind of stuff in front of her mother, must be a badass.

    That bully ended up failing the eighth grade and tried to make friends with me. We moved. Ta da!

    Sorry for the long comment. Maybe you can use a similar technique?

     
  • At 10:03 AM, Blogger Mac and Cheese said…

    You sound like you known what you're doing. Hope I do too when the time comes.

     
  • At 10:36 AM, Blogger Kiy said…

    And this post, right here, is why I read you! I am the type of reader you were referring to. Diapers and potty training (but not the binky thing, thank goodness).

    Kudos, Mama, for being there. Although, it does not surprise me one little bit that you are. I only hope I can be the kind of mama you are. You rock, seriously rock.

    Kiy

    P.S. Hope it gets resolved soon. Our kids should not have to deal with this kind of thing!

     
  • At 11:44 AM, Anonymous Traci said…

    You are an awesome Mom. Bullies suck and I wish you luck in getting this problem solved. Thank you so much for sharing.

     
  • At 12:52 PM, Blogger Gruppie Girl said…

    Isn't it amazing how one day you are stressing out that they aren't at the same milestones as the nighbor's kid and then one day you are dealing with bullies?

    Stay strong. We are dealing with bullies (a mother daughter team) in our house too. So stressfull. I'm trying to think of it as a good life lesson, but I still want to put the kids in a safe little bubble.

     
  • At 1:04 PM, Anonymous flybunny said…

    Yep we are dealing with bullying here as well. The very sterotypical mean girl and making life hell for my 12 yr old.

    Fighting the fight is hard but as you said, you have to be your child's fiercest protector.

    Luckily for us, this girl has been a problem for many others and the school is on our side and is working with us and our daughter to protect her. I know others are not so lucky.

    Hope everything turns out ok and soon!

     

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