Blogs Are Stupid

Doesn't anyone believe in Dear Diary anymore? What happened to the joy of putting actual pen to paper? And why does every ordinary Jane and John think they can write well enough to burden the world with their scribblings? It’s a mystery that badly needs solving. My first entry contains my thoughts about blogging and will set your expectations. The rest will probably be stream of consciousness garbage, much like you’ll find on any other blog. Perhaps we will both come away enlightened.

Monday, October 05, 2009

I Give Up

I can't do it people.

I can't keep up with everything in my life and update this blog regularly too. I try. I have good intentions. But somehow it doesn't get done. And I have to admit, where once this blog was a lifeline for me...a way to keep my mind from atrophying into a superfluous lump...now, it's just one more thing on a list too long for me to ever get to the bottom of.

(Edited to add: I didn't mean I was closing down the blog, just that I was going to give up trying to post every day, or twice weekly or whatever, and just accept that posting will happen when time and motivation happen to be present at the same time.)

But that's a good thing. Because, as you know if you've been reading any length of time....I have been bored out of my mind the last few years of my life. I have been depressed by the drudgery and sameness of every day. The rut I was in was more like a bottomless trench.

So. Life is chugging along and that is good. But I really don't have the time or the mental energy to write anything astounding. So I'll give you a quick little update on my life.

Husband got a job.

WHEW. In the beginning, we worried that our resources would not last until Husband could find a job. We just didn't know if it would take a month, or a year. If it was the latter, well....not only would we still be unemployed, but every penny of our savings would be gone. There would be no eating in retirement, much less the travel and adventure we'd envisionsed. We would lose the house, the cars....it was a really terrifying thought. We realized we were luckier than most, in that we had any resources at all.  But they were definitely finite, and we knew it all too well.

Luckily, due to a slight upturn in the economy that allowed us to recover some of what we used in those jobless months, we really ended up just about where we started.  That was a big relief. We won't have to rely on tinned beef from the dollar store when we're 80.

Also...I have joined Weight Watchers. I never did update all of you on my health situation, but it became very apparent that I had to get control of my health.  My blood pressure was a staggering 130/120 and the neurologist promptly put me on medication to bring it down. That was very sobering.

Because I suffered from pre-eclampsia during my last pregnancy, I will always be at increased risk of high blood pressure and stroke. But I compounded that risk by allowing my weight to creep up once again and letting old habits return.

In 2005 I lost around 60 lbs through diet and exercise, but I didn't keep it off because there was no accountability. And I didn't learn how to change my lifestyle permanently. I looked at the meaures I had taken to lose the weight as a temporary inconvenience to get from point A to point B. Once I arrived at point B, I allowed myself to slip back into unhealthy behaviors.

I realized I needed a concrete plan to follow, meetings to help keep me focused, and other people to inspire me. I've only been to one meeting, but I can already tell that this is what I need. 

Normally, the thought of making the kind of profound and permanent changes I needed to make would send me into a maelstrom of self-pity and negativity. I knew my attitude had reached a turning point when I left there not thinking about how awful the coming months would be, but how much better I would feel both physically and mentally, when I started seeing results. I felt like I could meet this challenge head on. I felt empowered and inspired rather than defeated and resentful.

My first weigh in day is tomorrow. I'm hoping for good news. But if I don't get it, I'm not going to give up. I'm going to figure out what went wrong and then fix it and go on.

In other news, the flood waters have receded, the recovery has begun, and life is slowly returning to normal.

As normal as it gets at Chez Antagonist, anyway.

Oh, one tiny little word of advice....1 eleven year old boy + 1 zombie movie = 2 many people in the bed.

Yes, Zombieland is funny, yes, it's more of a spoof than a real horror movie. Yes, the protagonists make mincemeat out of the zombies. But it's very, very, very, very gruesome and the zombies are extremely realistic. I even turned away once or twice.

But that's what happens when you have a teenager and a pre-teenager. The teenager is way too cool to watch anything that is appropriate for the pre-teenager. The pre-teenager wants to watch all the stuff the teenager is watching. He wants to be hip and cool, and not a baby. He's still smarting from the ridicule that he got for asking to see G-Force on his birthday. So I indulge him sometimes.

But on that one? Let's just say I'm a dumbass.

Not only did I have Diminutive One in my bed all weekend, but he has been lighting up this house like a.... something really bright. This morning before he left for school, I sent him upstairs on some errand. Later that morning when I went up, every single light  in every single room was on. Not only that, but all the closet doors were open.

Yessir. I'm going to be paying for that little piece of dumbassery for a while.

I'm going to make a list of survival rules like for Zombies, but for parenting. At the top of that list....

#1. A little imagination can be a dangerous thing. Don't encourage it.

16 Comments:

  • At 5:39 PM, Blogger Kathryn in NZ said…

    yuhuh - "Mars Attacks" gave my 7yr old nightmares, even though she knew intellectually it was a spoof movie.
    Yay for employed husbands!

    do what you gotta - I'll miss you but that you don't need this blog anymore is a good thing, no?

    Go you big red fire engine on the Weight Watchers, you can do this (it's an Australian saying, don't panic)

     
  • At 6:25 PM, Blogger Magi said…

    Congratulations on all your good news. I think Zombieland is the movie where they filmed part of it at my sister & BIL's pharmacy in Hapeville.

     
  • At 6:53 PM, Blogger Margaret said…

    When my older daughter was little, she watched Jumanji at school and we had her in bed with us( or in our room) for the next week. I'm glad you're taking care of your health; it can be very empowering to make healthy changes!

     
  • At 7:02 PM, Anonymous SandyG said…

    I think most of us knew when you got a job that you would need to permanently cut back on the blog...don't worry. It's just nice to hear that you're not eliminating it altogether. Congratulations on all of the positive steps that have happened recently.

     
  • At 7:29 PM, Anonymous Reesie said…

    Yeah for all your good news. Pop in when the mood strikes and keep us updated.

     
  • At 7:53 PM, Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said…

    So glad to hear from you! And, if I watched Zombieland, I'd be the one lighting up the entire house for weeks, so I think I'll take a pass on that one.

     
  • At 7:55 PM, Blogger the only daughter said…

    YaY for all the goodness going on and YaY for the positive attitude on the WW front!

    Cheers x 3.

     
  • At 5:02 AM, Blogger karma_musings said…

    "Don't encourage it." LOL - there used to be a live-action show on Nickelodeon with a funny dorky dad who was always telling the mom "DON'T encourage her!" about the daughter. :-)

    Glad things are taking some positive turns for you. WW can really work; go you! And great news on the hubs/job front. Hope it's something he'll enjoy doing :-)

    Lastly, I, along w/all your other readers do miss you a lot, but I totally understand overwhelmed and too much to do. Hope you will be able to catch us up on things upon occasion tho, and thx!

     
  • At 9:04 AM, Blogger mamatulip said…

    It's ET in this house...scared the PANTS off of my daughter. She still talks about it, and usually when the words E or T come up in conversation, she winds up in bed with us that night.

    I'm SO GLAD that your husband got a job. Congrats!

     
  • At 4:14 PM, Blogger Kim said…

    Congrats oh hubby's job. How is your job going?

     
  • At 6:42 PM, Anonymous heidig said…

    You know that Husband losing his job was the push you needed to find a job yourself. And now he's employed - congrats! Sounds like things are going well in the House of Antagonist.

     
  • At 2:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Fabulous news about your husband's re-employment. Glad all is well. Hope you are also enjoying your job. Post when you can - forget it when you can't.

     
  • At 4:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'd still check everyday for your posts (they're that good). So glad things are turning around over there.

    Mary in Texas

     
  • At 4:34 PM, Blogger Rachel said…

    Good luck with Weight Watchers! Changing your life is sooooo hard. I like to keep inspired by watching Biggest Loser. How cheesy is that?! I frickin' love that show.

     
  • At 5:57 AM, Blogger Avalon said…

    BA~~ So happy to hear from you and know that things are turning around for your family. You can do it!

     
  • At 4:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    It is rather interesting for me to read that article. Thanks for it. I like such themes and everything connected to this matter. I would like to read a bit more on that blog soon.

     

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